Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Project!

AHeM!!!! (clear throat). My name is Jean-Francois and I have a project in my head...

... Hello Jean-Francois -and welcome to the AA meeting tonight!

I do have a project and even though is a serious shit, I just can't help it. Life has to be fun and therefore this blog has to be as well (when possible). I do have a great sense of humor and blah blah blah. Ok, let me put my ideas together and I'll be back in 10.

By the way, thanks to all the people who has visited my corner of the web (1 person yesterday, and 2 today), and special thanks to those leaving comments (a gal a couple weeks ago and myself before her few times, and before... me, me and me).

Got a phone call . . . later

Monday, November 29, 2004

Advice

Advices are like unwanted gifts from relatives, everybody has one for you. Usually one size smaller (shoes) or two sizes bigger (pants, so that you end up looking like MC Hammer). Today though, I'm going to give you an advice that falls into the category "one size fits all". Listen up.

If you come back home hungry like a lion wanting a quick meal, open a can of traditional southern Pork 'n Beans, add some week-old rice, put a little water and pepper, and crank the front burner (the big one) on HIGH... I will advise y'all not to go to your room to take a quick look of your e-mail, unless you want to, er, ahem, uh... how can I put it; unless you want to, ahem, let me just say that you'll end up hungrier and with a fucking lot of cleaning to do before you can start chewing something.

In other words, that ex-girlfriend who cheated on you, treated you like crap, swept and mop the floor with you, and that you thought that having a distance of thousand of miles between you too could prevent her from screwing you up... well, think again.

If you put your beans on high and at the same time receive an e-mail from her telling you some bullshit about her feelings towards you lately, she could be fucking you up -and your dinner, pot, stove and your favorite wood spoon- even before you can write her back a very polite "fUcK yOu!".

Snif; snif; What's that? Smells like if... My beans!!!!! Holy shit!!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Hunger

There’s something wrong with my organism. I have just had for lunch a grilled chicken breast, a truck load of rice and a can of green beans that I cooked with some garlic, salt and pepper. Plus a Coke –a real one with all the sugar, calories and sodium in it.

But I feel… just fine. That is a sign that in an hour or so I’ll be hungry again. I do have to feel that I’m stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day in order not to feel hungry for the next few hours. Do I have an empty leg maybe and al the food goes down there?

I understand why my father used to say that it was easier to fill a train toilet than to fill me (a train toilet in the good old days was just a hole looking down to the tracks). And now that I live alone and I have to fed myself, I’m starting to realize that is just too fucking expensive to keep my ever greater hunger at bay!

The Blender-Internet connection

My blender broke down and I couldn't make my usual smoothie this morning. That sucks. I had to chew all the crap that I put into the smoothie and now I feel tired and a little dizzy. My tooth aches too -not use to that amount of heavy work so early in the morning.

The good thing is that my internet connection is up and running again! It's been working on and off for the last 10 days or so but Friday it didn't work at all. So, as a good citizen I called Time Warner and I stood on the phone 20 minutes waiting, and waiting and waiting. Is not really a good idea to play promotions when you're calling a customer service line, as 99.9% of the calls are to report something that is not working properly. Do you think after 20 minutes listening to all kind of crazy promotions and great advantages am I going to upgrade whatever crap they're offering? And after a very polite girl said that it was going to take 5 days for someone to come over and check my shit anytime between 8AM and 7PM, I tell you what: the last thing I want is one more reason to call'em again due to problem with that great "promotion". Guys, just play some of that telephone music that at least it keeps people relaxed.

Anyway, I made an appointment and it took me 20 minutes to get one, so I'll let them come and check my internet connection even if is only to say: "Every thing is all right sir".

By the way, why is it that all these people that come to check your computer, or your cable or whatever are always men? In porn movies is always beautiful girls with little dresses and fire in their eyes. Whether they fix the problem or not one thing is sure: they always leave customers happy!

Friday, November 26, 2004

Standing in Line

I'm weak and I couldn't resist it. I know... I'm broke, friendless, loveless, sexless, even though I do have a job I can say that I'm jobless (have an MBA and work as a waiter, no further comments) and overall I'm hopeless at this time. But today, the day after Thanksgiving and after working from 6:30AM till 10:30AM I decided to do what a not-so-normal-man would do to feel better and I went shopping! I got me a nice shirt and a black v-neck pullover for the total price of $34.94 after all type of discounts and shit.

It was a good price but somehow I had plenty of time to think, while standing in line, whether now that I'm broke I should've bought it or not. I stood in line for like 15 minutes (or maybe was it 45?) and standing in line is one of the things that top my list of things that I don't like together with a root canal procedure and a visit from my Mom.

This lady and her daughter (the daughter was in her mid 40's, so figure out the "lady") were buying some stuff, and at the same time were returning something that they got online, plus they wanted to exchange something else and buy more shit buy the way. At that very same moment I avoided all the other 5 lines and I stood in that one. As it was taking so much time the woman in front of me took off to pay in another register while I waited there very paciently. And wait, and wait and wait. I do have patience but what this two were doing only God and the cashier knows; at some point the cashier was on the phone with I-don-know-who and the lady had to confirm like 15 different pieces of data about her in order to be able to return the item bought online, well, a lot of shit going on. I was just waiting for them to say to me "sorry..." as everybody here in the south does, and I had my answer ready for them: "Not a problem, I have the whole (fucking) day to wait for (a scum bag like) you two (and your shit)". But, they did say a word, maybe they just notice that I was going up like the Alka-Seltzer.

But finally the time came and the exchange/return went through, so they only had to buy a pair of jeans and a blanket. The cashier picks these two items and is in the brink of passing them through the scanner and suddenly the old lady says "you know what? I would prefer to have this blanket in black instead of pink. Could you run it with a different color?" Of course the cashiers yells at her, well, actually she says very polite, "NO, could you please grab the item you want?!".

Oh fuck! That was it for me. I took off for another register without saying a word. There's nothing more annoying than someone bitching in public. I, very seriously, turned around and moved to another register. I stood in line behind a woman with a car load full of shit; she saw me arrive with my two items and didn't ask me to go first, she just started unloading her car on the counter. Bitch!

And then, the girl from customer service seeing that such a drop dead gorgeous and handsome redhair was stading in line and that she was doing absolutely nothing, called me and asked me if I wanted to pay there. It took 25 seconds for her to scan my stuff and less than 5 seconds for me to pull out nervously my debit card that looked at me with those eyes that say to me "you know you're broke motherfucker and I'm going to screw you today... Even though you have a little cash in the bank, I'm going to say that there's no money in your account just to fuck with you" and swap it through the little machine attached to the cash register. Pressed the pin and wait... "Processing" could be read in the green screen of the fancy register. "Processing" in the touch-sensitive screen of the device where I swept my card. Processing and processing. I was starting to say to my self "Oh, shit!" for the fifth time when the transaction went through. Thanks God!

I took my shopping bag and believe it or not, those two ladies were still in the register were I stood earlier that day. The daughter kind of looked at me while I passed by on my way to the door from door, but I just turn to see something outside in order not to meet her eyes. As my car was parked right in front of the store, I rushed to turn it on so that they could see through the window glass that I even had time wait, move to another line, pay and take off before they could even finish their Guiness World Record transaction.

At the end I did felt better... not because I have a new shirt and a pull over that I don't need, but felt better due to the principle of pointing the finger at them and making sure they understood how fucking stupid they were. Oh God thanks for the ability of us, human beings, to spread animosity among our fellow Homo-Sapiens!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Nip Tuck

Yo! Everybody out there who cares what I say!

I say: Watch NIP TUCK!

That's a heavy show, I'll recommend you not to watch it after dinner... but enjoy it!

A Little "Spice"

Today for lunch I had what I always have: pasta and chicken. But it was different because even though I was standing in front of the stove, I wasn't starving as always, so I said to myself "I'm going to add a little spice to this motherfucker". I took some Cajun Seasoning and sprinkle the chicken with it. I then cook it and served with my usual Alfredo pasta and a glass of water -healthy shit my friends, healthy indeed.

Well guess what, that little sprinkle had me farting like hell all day long! I even took an Alka-Seltzer to try not to gas all the customers in the coffee shop but, how can I put it? My butt was very fucking eloquent and I farted and farted all afternoon.

Now is 9PM and I'm not hungry, which pisses me off because one thing I do like is to eat, and if I don't have all three meals in a day is because a.) I'm sick like hell, b.) I'm broken hearted like hell, c.) I'm drunk like hell, or d.) I ate something that I should've not eaten and I'm farting like hell.

And is not only that I'm chain-farting, but to be honest with you my farts stink! I would like to be able to describe the smell... I would just say that I better pray for my soul tonight because my body is fucking rotten!

Match.com (3)

I spoke on the phone to my second contact today. A nice and funny girl... didn't talk very long, she was kind of busy as she had just got home. We'll be talking on the weekend.

Let's see what the FUCK happens this time. I'll keep ya'll posted, even though no one gives a shit.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

BOOKS 2004

So far this year I've read:
  • Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
  • Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
  • DaVinci Code - Dan Brown
  • The Rise and Fall of Great Powers - Paul Kennedy
  • The Last Algonquin - Theodore Kazimiroff
  • The King of Torts - John Grisham
  • Deception Point - Dan Brown
  • Animal Farm - George Orwell
  • The Firm - John Grisham
  • Billions and Billions - Carl Sagan
  • The Rise of the Vulcans - James Mann
  • You Know You Love Me (A Gossip Girl Novel) - Cecily Von Ziegesar
  • I Like it Like That (A Gossip Girl Novel) - Cecily Von Ziegesar

Monday, November 22, 2004

$$$

I've just realized that I'm broke. I owe money, no one owes me a fucking dime, my checking account is getting dangerously close to the red ink and the bills are starting to pile up on my desk.

But you know what? I've just had a huge plate of pasta with lots of parmesan cheese on top; my stereo is pumping loud music out of the speakers (my neighbohrd hasn't complaint in weeks, maybe my music gave him a heart attack?) and I'm blogging about it with fucking positive attitude! Am I a cool guy or what? Hell yeahhhh!

Legally

This is part of a conversation that I had with a friend on Sunday evening. She was telling me that she wrecked her car, and we moved on to drinking and driving and I said...

... but here in North Carolina you need just like 2 beers and a shot of Tequila to be legally blonde... I mean, legally drunk!

haha!haha!haha!You turkey Jean-Francois! haha!haha!haha!

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Hey y'all!

Just came back from the disco.. all fucked up and stuff. Too much beer that's for sure. Gona have an Alka-Seltzer and slip into bed. Cheers and thanks for stoping by!

LEaVe a cOmMeNt pPpLeAsEEeEeE!!!!111!!1!!1!1!!12!@1!@@#54#^%4&^

Saturday, November 20, 2004

To Kill the Passion

I was watching a porn clip that I downloaded from the internet, a very hot porn star called Bonita Saint was engaged in oral sex on a couch. If you haven't seen her, go and check her out, she has a perfect body, plus she's a beauty, there's no doubt about it. In this scene a guy was giving her oral pleasure up and down her pussy, and while he was there, he went on down and licked her ass very gently...

At that very same moment I remembered that my toilet was cloaked due to a huge crap that I took early that day and that I have to fix it. I better stop going to those $6,99 all you can eat buffets...

Friday, November 19, 2004

Oh, what the fuck!

Oh, what the fuck! That's what I have in my mind and heart today... Oh, What the fuck! Why even bother about her and her whereabouts; to be treated like a fucking piece of shit? To be taken to the sky and then been thrown back to earth without parachute? Fuck that.

She's very pretty, cute, young, wild, hot and cool and there's this connection between us... but you know what? Fuck her and her God Damn fucking games. To have to share her with whoever talks nice to her one night? Fuck no! It was a good thing that today happen what happened, and that I saw what I saw, so that I can put my feet back on the ground and step on the path that will lead me forward and away from her. A path that will take me to someone who's really worth of all my caresses, time and energy. A good girl for me, such a nice guy!

Good luck sweet Jenna; Jean-Francois has left the room.

Friday 11/19/04

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

I Called Her

I am very shy I have to say it; and besides I am very insecure on what I am and what I have. This sounds like those meetings of AA "My name is Jean-Francois and I'm a damn drunk! Hello Jean-Francois!". You'll understand this once you read this stupid post.

There's this girl that I like and I've been hesitating whether to call her or not; to calm down a little bit a built a couple of scenarios in my mind (and in a piece of paper) which are if she picks up the phone or not basically. I called her last weekend and she didn't answer my call nor called me back. I was kind of feeling that she doesn't want to talk to me, but hey, if she gave her phone number, she better wants to (hell with those insecurities in my head). Anyway I wrote down the message that I'll leave if she doesn't answer, and made up my mind to invite her to go out tonight.


Posted by Hello

The thing is that this girl, she's kind of crazy I have to tell you, picks up the phone and doesn't say a word. Doesn't say a fucking word and I just start laughing my ass off. Of all the scenarios this never came across my mind and it was so funny! I didn't say anything for a while and then started shouting her name, and then I ask her to answer the phone that I wanted to talk to her -men, this was funny, I know it doesn't sound like, but it was. I'm listening to a very COOL song, like those that you really enjoy when you're high -but I'm not-, kind of smooth, relaxing, nice. Then as she doesn't say a word still I say "hey, I got you some music", and put my cell phone besides the speaker... then I started laughing again, I couldn't help it.

Like 10 minutes later I called her again and left a message, just saying that it will be nice to see her, and left my cell phone number -not that she's going to call me, but what the hell.

I know that you are going to think that is the most stupid post ever, but it just made me laugh man, like you can't imagine. Is that crazy or what? And the thing is that we're working together this Friday... I wonder what she's going to say, if she says anything at all...

Ready (Wether They Wanted or Not)

In my last post I wrote how my boss asked me to go to work on Tuesday that I was off, only to call me right when I was taking a shower in the morning and told me not to go. Well, today he asked me again if I could work tomorrow Thursday that I'm off (yes, lots of days off I have) and I told him: "Sure, not a problem. But I ain't answering my cel phone before I clock in!"

He just laughed his ass off. He might thought that I was joking, but believe me, you are not going to make me wake up early, iron my shirt, shave, take a shower and put on my neck tie together with a little bit of colone only to call me and cancel on me. Fuck no, I'm going to turn my cel phone off tonight and see you at the office.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Ready... But Ready For What?!

I was suppose to be off today, but yestarday my boss asked me if I could work today because there was some big functions going on. Of course I said yes so that I could pick up some more hours.

This morning as I was taking my shower -after I shaved and ironed my short- the phone rang; when I went out of the bathroom it was what I feared. Those parties canceled and they don't need me. So here I'm: all shaved, clean, wearing only my underwear and blogging about it. What the fuck am I going to do today? In other words: I'm ready... but ready for what?!

I know what I'm gona do. I'm going to drive all the way to South Carolina and I'm going to buy the lottery. If you don't find more posts in this blog, is because I either got kill in the road or I became a fucking millionaire!
Cheers!

Sunday, November 14, 2004

I'm Fucking Brilliant!

I know that I'm brilliant, but sometimes I even get to amaze myself. I figure out today that instead of sending a cold and tasteless e-mail, what I can do is to hand write a note, scan it, send it as an attachment and voila! Instant delivery! Am I fucking something or what?
I know that I have had my scanner/printer seating on my desk right beside my laptop for almost six months now, and somehow I feel kind of stupid for not figuring it out before, but well, better late than never, right?

I just sent this note to my best girlfriend, who's back in South America. Lately we have been kind of "out of touch" and the last e-mails that we exchange were frankly pathetic. In one of those she wrote only in the subject line and nothing in the message itself; I reply with one word. So I can tell that we were heading to a little fight over the lack of quality communication and I could see both of us wasting our energy in the blaming game:

- You didn't reply my e-mail!
- You call one word message an "e-mail"?
- I did reply, didn't I?!
- You don't love me anymore. You forgot about me!
- I did? When was the last time blah, blah, blah
- blah, blah, blah
- blah, blah, blah

So, as I am a very smart guy I was thinking what to do to stop short that coming storm. And even though I know that I'm right (you can check out some of the posts that I've written about my e-mails and her e-mails), I also remember very well my class of "Negotiation and Conflict Resolution" in the MBA and the techniques learnt to minimize the escalation of conflict. I was thinking about what to do to make her feel closer to me without having to use an e-mail or a phone call; how to make her lower her guard, and punch her in the nose and knock her down and kiss her and touch her and Hug her and make her mind right there time and again and whisper in her ear all kind of nasty things together with plenty of I love u's... in one single message. I was thinking about a letter but that's too much too late, when suddenly my mind was struck with the image of a had written note, scanned and sent it out to her. In the very same second I pictured her reading it, laughing, crying and getting mad at me because she knows that I am three steps ahead of her. FUCK am I smart or what? This is the note and down below the translation. Enjoy it!

Posted by Hello

Hello Amix!
What's happening? How's life treating you these days? Could you believe that today I found out that I can write you a note, scan it and send it out to you? There's no need for us to exchange those cold and tasteless e-mails.
Honestly I feel kind of stupid for not doing it before; but at the same time I feel fucking brilliant for "figuring it out by myself". What do you think?
I'm fine over here, I really can't complain. Fall is here and Charlotte looks beautiful, which reminds me that winter is coming together with snow skiing!
Tell me about you. How's everything?
I love you little silly,
Jean-Francois

Chinese Fortune Cookie

"The Current Year Will Bring You Much Happiness"
Posted by Hello
This is what a Chinese Fortune Cookie had to say to me few days back...

Last Night's Drinks

Last night I went to downtown to get some drinks with a friend of mine and I woke up today with two thoughts revolving around my head. We had a nice conversation about a little bit of everything, including our live here in the US as "Strangers in a Strange Land": what has happened to us during this time and of course what the future holds for us. Wasn't really a deep conversation with an analysis of all the rights and wrongs, goods and bads or anything like that; was more a chat between two friends in a bar that was packed and with the music as loud as it could -and with a couple of drinks in our head.

One of the things that is in my head is about the future and wether I'm going to stay here in the US or I'm going back to my country. We also spoke about relationships and what would the next months will bring: she said that for her things are not going to change and that he past is a mirror of what the future will bring. I completely disagree with her and told her that life is dynamic, things are always changing and will keep changing as we mature, meet new people and assume new responsabilities. Our plans and goals change over time and we have to adapt to them accordingly; I never thought I'll end up doing what I've done the last couple years and even thinking on doing what we discuss last night (I'll say more about this sometime later on). This is a moment of big decisions in my life that will change the next 3-5 years of my life, and I don't quite know what to do.

That was one of the things we discussed last night and that has been revolving in my head all morning today. Fucking serious stuff.

Now, the other thing that has been in my head is the fact, the fucking fact that I am a dwarf in a land of giants. I am 5'6 (170m) and last night in the bar everybody, EVERYBODY but my friend was taller than me. All the girls, guys and in between that I saw were taller than me. I know some girls were wearing high hills, but others were just so fucking tall that I felt lost while walking my way through the crowd to get my dosis of alcohol. Back in my country I always thought that I was "average", until I landed here. Now I know that I'm just a flea in this world of dogs!

Hey, but you know what? I have a big heart.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

(Don't) Have a Bud

Getting ready to go out tonight,
downtown is waiting for me;
while playing music loudly on my stereo (fuck my neighbohr) and
having a buzz to warm up engines
I come to realize that
Budweiser tastes like shit!

Mr. Coffee

I work in a coffee shop on Saturday afternoons -smooth jazz playing on the radio-, and today for the first time in the almost 2 years that I've been there I tried all the different varieties of coffee that we brew. Kind of odd, don't you think so? People always ask me what coffee is better than the other, and dude, it just depends on what frigging coffee you like. I'm not into flavor coffee or decaf, I always drink the house blend with a little bit of whole milk -not half and half.

So to the question of what coffee should they drink, I always tell them about the amount of caffeine, how dark/mild/light that dark liquid is and shit; and of course I always recommend our 'aWeSoMe' house blend (but let's face it, coffee is an acquired test, and after putting a couple bags of sugar and half and half in it, any coffee will test pretty much the same). But if they look kind of new to the whole 'coffee shop' experience, I always tell'em to go for a latte, or cappucino, or perhaps a mocha, or how about trying our frappes? Not that I really enjoy the extra work, but once I crank that blender full speed one thing is for sure, I'm fucking getting a tip dude!

Graffiti

Patience Baghdad, patience. Saddam is coming back soon! [added later] To finish off what remains of the Iraqi people, or to fuck your mother?

From a graffiti seen in Baghdad in summer '04. Collected and translated by Nayef al-Sayegh (Harpers Magazine p. 19, November 2004)

Friday, November 12, 2004

I Got It

I got her phone number today... What is the future going to bring between us, ah? Only time knows.

Don't you love those search engines?

I've been thinking lately how cool it will be if I can bake my own bread here at home; not that I want to do it on regular basis, but you know, warm and fresh bread out of the oven for someone like me that just LOVE bread sounds nice. Plus when you have so much free time in your hands like I do lately you just start thinking about stupid things on how to use your time. Anyway, when something gets in my head, I better do that shit or at least try to, otherwise I'll eventually get upset with myself (yes, I'm kind of weird, but that's another story).

As the story goes I went to the internet (where else?) to find out what do I need to bake some bread (I've never done it before). And while researching it, I also saw some cakes, tarts, pies and all kind of sweets and desserts. So the most obvious search at this point would be "sweets and desserts", right? And as I'm using the internet then it will be "sweet desserts", right? As I type that shit on Google, somehow I hit Enter before time and end up writing only "sweets de"... and please take a look at what I find! A girl known as "Sweet Devon".


Posted by Hello

Is this a nice surprise from the internet or what? I'm telling you, the internet is just full of naked girls and pornography... you just can't scape it!
Hell with that crazy idea of "baking my own bread"! Cheers! And long life to naked girls on the internet!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Times Has Come

I spoke to my mechanic this afternoon and it seems that I'll have to be getting a new car soon. I drive a Honda Accord '88 that has been a great car; my sister drove it before I did for almost three years and now I've had it for a year and a half. The car runs great, doesn't ask for much and as compare to the Eclipse that I had before it has given me no headaches whatsoever.

Few days ago I saw some spots in my parking space and as the car has a little oil lick, I just thought that was part of the same thing getting a little bit worst. The power steering however was giving me kind of funky signals every now and then; sometimes hard but others smooth, until last weekend. Saturday night I tried to park it on my way to the disco, and thanks God that I workout, otherwise I could've not parked that baby. The steering wheel was so hard (and I should point out to the ladys that read these lines, that it was pehaps harder that my dick when it gets hard, so that shit was hard indeed!), I could hardly move it (the steering wheel) giving me a fricking hard time.

One hundred and eighty-nine thousand miles, plus 16 years on the road is a clear sign that the car is approaching the end of its life cycle. The engine runs great and everything is in a pretty good shape, but due to the "fatigue of the materials", little by little things are gona go bad and that means money coming out of my shallow pocket. The part that has to be replaced this time costs $240 brand new plus labor; if we get it from a junk yard it may be around $150 plus labor which is not a pretty picture at all.

My mechanic told me to give him a call next week that he's gona look around to see what he finds. I told him that I don't have any money now for another car, but he told me not to worry about "pay me whenever you can". Isn't that cool or what? He's gona be looking for a Honda/Toyota of about $2,000 in a decent condition and as I made clear to him "a car that needs to be washed and fueled but nothing else!". He just laughed.

Let's see what the wind brings to this red-hair-Latino on this side of town.

A Very Expensive Mitsubishi Eclipse

Even though Charlotte is known as "The Queen City", it has nothing to do with any royal treatment receiving around here. This is particularly true when it comes to buying a car and all the hassle that comes attached to it.

My first car was a burgundy Mitsubishi Eclipse, without any doubt the most expensive Eclipse in the record history of the East Coast. When I bought it from a Mexican guy, the car looked so cool that I knew it had to be mine. When I test drove it around the block, my main concerns were the quality of the sound system and the acceleration in this turbocharged version. Once I cut off the engine back in the parking lot, I smiled at him and knew that my search was over. "I got a very good deal" I said to my friends in those summer days, "this Mexican guy was asking for $2,300 and I got it for $1,700; the MBA that I'm studying is starting to pay off!" I only wished.

The first red light came out around a month later, it was the clutch pump. After that it was an oil leak; then the car didn't pass the inspection and in the same week the sound system started to malfunction. Few weeks after that a bad alternator left me in the middle of the road and right before Christmas a broken belt sent the temperature ski high. Did I also mention a tune-up in those days?

With winter hitting hard the southern US in late January 2003 came a mayor set back: an oil flow. This sent my bank account 589 bucks down; and included in that price my mechanic gave me a grim perspective on the future of the car. At that time I remember thinking "now I know I can worry about anything but those oil leaks"; I couldn't be more wrong. Right before spring I learned about the quality of the job done by my mechanic (www.precisiona.com ) on those leaks, and his so called "warranty". And talking about my mechanic (my ex-mechanic I should point out), the guy who had been taken paycheck after paycheck from me in order to fix the car, finally got on my nerves and I sent him to hell, making clear to him that I knew what his mom's profession was -I called him a "fucking son-of-a-bitch!"

The final nail on the coffin came in late summer '03 when an electrical problem sent my bank account close to the red ink and my frustration to the stratosphere. I recall that after the car broke down twice the same day, the guy from the tow company asked me while hooking up my car: "didn't we tow you early this morning?" and after seeing my biter face he added "Chill out man, the third time we let you drive the tow truck!"

With a bit more than a year of use and $2,200 in repairs I finally sold it for $1,100. It was October 2003. Once I had closed the deal on it and had the money in my pocket, the only thing I could say to that poor kid that bought it was "Enjoy it Dude, I bet you're going to have a lot of fun with it".



Here It is: The most expensive Eclipse in the History of the East Coast!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

No Pics and No Vids; Just blah, blah, blah.

Twice in the same week I've read about it. First was a girl in a Miss Norway contests that was kicked out because she had been in a porn video. Then was a judge in Romania, fired due to the same reason. I don't mind you guys hiring or firing people based on porn movies, and this blog is certainly not directed to the Justice Department of Romania or the Miss Norway Contest whatsoever. You have your own set of rules and whether I agree with them or not, I certainly do respect'em.

This blog is directed instead, to the news services that post the news but add no pictures or the whole damn video for us (all the readers) to check it out. Hey, we do have the right to get all the information necessary to fully understand those creepy and shallow news that you make us read. Next time (because yes, there's going to be a next time) please you guys on the other side of the news, post either the fucking pics or the vids or just don't post shit al all!

Monday, November 08, 2004

Effort

The effort has to be on the side of the writer, not the reader. I have to have enough brain power to make it short, cool and interesting; to give you a lot, but to leave you wanting more. Let's see how it goes.

Barista

Quarters, Dimes and Nickels
in my piggy bank.
Penies beside,
in a jart.
They come from lattes, mochas,
smooties,
and bittersweet coffees.
I earn each one of'em
on Saturday afternoons.
Smooth jazz playing on the radio.

I saw'em

I saw a blog today.
It had the author's pretty picture
and lots of links.
I read another one with lots of funny stories,
and scores of comments.
I want mine
to be like theirs.

Comments

I'm drinking a Coke feeling light after taking a huge crap. Getting ready to go to the gym for a while I wonder why the hell nobody leaves comments in my blog?

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Unused


An unused condom since... Shit! I don't fucking remember. One out of two, or I find a fine young girl to love, respect, understand and fuck or my balls are going to burst. And no, I promess myself that I was not going to play "5 against 1" anymore in the bathroom, and I was not going to download from the internet those tasteless short porn clips that I used to be addict to. What I need is a nice -or a complete bitch I really don't care- girl with whom I can share all this love. Posted by Hello

Match.com (2)

I just came back from my first -ever- encounter "face to face, kiss to kiss" with one of the fellow members of Match.com. We went to one of the local Starbucks to get our doses of caffeine; she ordered a grande latte while I sipped a good old medium size daily grind with room for cream, please.
I saw her right at the entrance while I was parking, so she had the opportunity to see the run-down car that I drive even before she saw my butt; would have been nice to be the other way around. We got our coffee and went to sit outside, as the weather today was just perfect, sunny, cool, clear and with those yellow/orange/red leafs falling from the trees.

We both were all smiles at the beginning, during our conversation and at the end, not that we had a blast together, but I believe was more that we both were kind of nervous. I read somewhere that when you're nervous your animal stinct makes you smile, so that you show your teeth as a way to fence that very same nervousness. Maybe you don't know what to expect at that moment, so you better have your teeth handy in case you have to bite someone. Hell I don't know, I ain't fricking scientist, I'm just guessing. The conversation pretty much went in circles around our past. I told her about my trips overseas, the time when I've lived in Asia, the travels that I've made; I also told her about my time as an exchange student in the US when I was 17 years old. She also told me a bit about her job, when she had lived in the US babysitting when she was 19; her time in Philly and also told me that she was going to Germany for Xmas but was coming back for new year's. We also talked a bit about the usual stuff that you bring up when there's nothing else to say, like the gym, running, the nights out, Halloween, etc.

I did definitely most of the talking; even at the very beginning when we were standing in line she was kind of quiet. Then, when we went out and sit, there was these periods of time when a silence came down to the conversation and I had to fill it with whatever shit came to my head (gym, siblings, etc.). I told her a lot about my adventures, but not that much about myself. She didn't quite took the initiative to say something or to come up with a story or thought, or didn't ask many questions about my stories, more like "alright, cool".

Physically I find her very much like in the pictures she posted; well, er, of course, that's the whole idea, you take a picture of yourself and it looks pretty much like you, no? She's blonde, have a big smile and very white teeth (as oppose to my yellow ones), wasn't wearing make up at all but I could tell that she took the time to get dress and brush her hair to look nice. She's tall; was wearing flat shoes and was maybe about my same height. Her body type is normal, I can tell she doesn't throw up after eating a piece of cheese cake, but I also can tell that she either exercise or doesn't eat that many cheese cakes (actually she does eat a lot of chocolate but runs almost every single day). Her bobs are alright and her butt is ok, and overall I would say that she's easy to the eyes -as oppose to me: pretty rough to the naked eye but with the right pair of beer goggles I ain't that bad after all.

We sat for about an hour and when I finished my coffee I pretty much called it quits. She wasn't talking very much and at that time I was kind of pushing the envelope with the topics we were discussing so I just preferred to say "well, it has been really nice meeting you and blah, blah, blah, and bye, bye". She very much agreed and we say we will keep in touch; didn't make any plans whatsoever and you know what, now that I think about it, I didn't ask her for her phone number. Shit! Well, what the hell, I'll e-mail her later this week and will ask for it. The next "date" could be a ping-pong game or perhaps a movie. I just think that we both were kind of exited and at the same time nervous with this whole internet dating thing. Maybe next time we will loosen up a little bit, we can relax our shoulders and then begin to have a nice exchange. First times are always difficult, no doubt about it. I believe it is harder to finish something than to start it, but sometimes both things are kind of difficult.

She wrote in her profile that she loves chocolate; actually she wrote it like three times, so being the nice guy that I am, I got her a "kit kat". Wasn't that sweet or what motherfuckers? Yes it was indeed. She just said "Thanks" and saved it for later. She'll eat it thinking about me and how cool a guy I am, longing for my hand to touch her, my fingers to roll down her skin, my lips to lock with hers, my, er, uh, whatever. Maybe she'll feed it to the swangs in her apartment complex.

I believe I'll be calling her again, and for sure we will meet to do a couple things together. As far as romance and that crap, I really don't think things are going to get that far. I really saw a big fucking wall between us and to tear that shit down I'll have to begin at home -meaning getting rid of my own inner walls. Even though is too early to say shit, the truth is that there has to be either connection or butterflies in the stomach in order to be willing to move forward.

This evening I only saw a nice/shy girl and an over size mosquito flying around that I was about to smash against the wall, and yell at him "Fuck you! You piece of shit!"; but trying to proyect the idea of being a gentleman I restraint my self from doing it. I am cool or what?

At he end she offer me her hand but I gave her a little hug, you know, I'm a Latino and we kind of have a warm heart after all.

Match.com (1)

I joined match.com not long ago; I've contacted a couple girls and this evening I'm going to meet one of them for some coffee -and then sex, sex and more sex! Casual sex!

Whatever.

Judging a Book by its Cover

You should not judge a book by its cover, goes the old saying. It is obviously true, but don't you think that the cover nay say something about what is inside it? This week I ran into two situations that made me think of that old saying.

I went to the library to pick up a book to read, and while I was looking for "1984", I stumble into a purple book with the image of a girl that caught my attention. I picked up the book and in the cover there was the same picture but bigger: a 19 year old girl maybe, with long blonde hair, red lips and white teeth and with her mouth in a very provocative yet sexy and innocent way that made think all kind of crazy things. The picture doesn't show her eyes, so the rest of the face has to be build according to your own likes. It seems like if she is jumping out of a cab, with thin arms and a top that may be worth $350. Inside the book reveals a story of young, rich and beautiful girls living in Manhattan and they daily dramas and challenges. With big letters and easy reading, you don't have to think twice before picking it up. I've been reading it and I've really enjoy it. Daily life situations that are easy to identify with and a very well written novel.
This is a book that I judge only by its cover and end up being a very good one; so, should or shouldn't you judge a book by its cover...

Last night I did judge a girl by its cover and I don't know if I got it right. I saw a friend of mine who came to town, our plans were to go and have dinner and then go to one of the clubs in downtown that play Latin music. I didn't know but she came alone with her roommate... A Barbie Doll. She was from Germany and had been in the US for barely a month. A petite, thin, blonde, beautiful blue eyes, perfect face and soft skin girl that made all the hormones in my body go crazy. But not the way a hot young girl usually makes me feel (basically I get a hard one); this girl seem to be so sweet, with an innocent look and very sweet manners. She was very young and definitely has to mature a bit more, but what a doll. My friend told me that she had a boyfriend and I imagined her, having a long time relationship back home; you know, young, innocent and sweet.
Late in the night I learn that you should not judge a book by its cover. She came from Germany a month ago, arriving in the middle of a week. Friday she met this guy that works with her and Sunday they are waking up together. Too much for an innocent look in her face and that long term relationship that she had back home -in my mind at least. Her boyfriend took off for New Orleans this weekend and didn't even invite her, so she got pist and told my friend that she wanted to come alone. Should have known this, I would have been more aggressive last night, instead of being a sweet guy for a sweet little girl. As you all know, the easiest girls are those with a fresh broken heart.

I've grown to learn that I do have a defect after all, being that I tend to see or wish to see only the good side of people. When it comes to girls, I often see that they are more the sweet type or have stable relationships and that kind of crap if you know what I'm saying. How about if I just change that and see girls more like men act, looking to have one love in each port. Looking back to my relationships, and I may talk more about this later, girls are as outgoing as men are when it comes to casual sex and adventures. I'm going to try to be more aggressive in my next moves in town and then I'll see what happen.

In the same week I have two books and I judge them both by its cover: I was right in one (the one I pick from the library), but not that quite when it came to last night's. But I learnt a lesson, when judging a book by its cover, let's go by the wild side first.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

mails

I have to say: I write fucking AWSOME e-mails! It takes me a little while to put my ideas together, but once I do it, the outcome is just outstanding.
 
I wish I could speak the same way I write. Then, life would be all flowers and rivers of honey...

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Quote 2

I hear voices... and they don't like you!

Quote

It's only funny until someone gets hurt... then it's HILARIOUS!

One Hell-of-a-Night in Bangkok!


That's me at around 3:30AM, with 14 Vodka-Redbull and two Budweisers in my head. I really can't recall this situation at all, but the pictures are here to prove that an image is worth a thousand fucking words. Hangover the next day? Fuck, if I didn't know that that was due to all the alcohol that I've drank, I would have checked myself in the hospital arguing the proximity of my own death. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

What!?

America: What were you thinking for God's sake!?

According to Paul O'neil's book, when the Republican Party won the mid-term elections for the House and the Senate, Dick Cheney told him that they were going into Iraq because it was their due. Now that they have won the re-election, how are they going to celebrate? Where are the bombs going to start falling down? How many more people is going to get kill in this next four years due to Gerge W. Bush's policies?

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Monday

- How do you say "Happy Monday" in Spanish?

- Pleeease! There's no such thing as a "Happy Monday". In South America as well as in the US, a Monday unless is a holiday is just a fucking Monday! Maniac Monday!

Not a Good Idea Either

This is really not a good idea at all. I live in a 1-bedroom condo with no furniture at all other than a little dining table with two chairs, my bed and a desk. Is very small and I live happy by myself -needless to say I DO enjoy the occasional visit of some of those trashy girls that I pick up in the local clubs. But this condo is made for one person or perhaps a couple, but that's about it. When my mom came to visit me, there was no fucking room to do anything, if I play music then she couldn't read, or if she was watching TV then it was heard all over the condo. When we cooked it smelled food all over; well, you got the idea: this is a very small condo indeed.

My younger sister's boyfriend is planning to come to the US for 4-5 months to study English and my family had the GREAT idea of suggesting that he can stay with me, so that he can save money in accommodation. Now, that is a very bad idea in the history of bad ideas. For starters he will have to get a bed and put it in the living room/dining room/TV room; privacy will be reduced to zero as the space is so small that we'll be seeing each other's face all day and night. On the other hand he will be brand new to this city so I'll have to show him around, drive him, take him for a ride, explain him, help him get a cell phone, go with him to do grocery shopping, pick him up sometimes, introduce him to all the people I know, include him in all the plans that I do, etc. Besides me he doesn't know anybody else, and just to say bye bye in the morning or just say on a Saturday night "later dude, I'm going party" would be kind of odd. If I was in his shoes I would expect that whoever is going to receive me will also take care of me; I'll be doing my own shit of course, but we both will have to be very close during that time. Now, how about going party and getting a girl to come to the apartment with someone sleeping right there, even if she doesn't care, how about the noise and shit?

When they first told me I said "yeah, not a problem", but then I gave it a second thought and I realize that it was a very bad fucking idea. And in the other hand I don't know if I'm going to stay in the US after next spring, plus I'm looking for a job and to add a person that I have to take care of... Hell, a bad, bad idea indeed. I wrote an e-mail yesterday telling them all this and also said that I don't want them to judge me or say that I'm selfish, but to think about it and to try to picture the conditions in which we'll be living.

Knowing my family as I do, I know they'll try to sweep all my arguments under the carpet and will push ahead with their plans. But this time I'm not going to bow to them like I did on those 3-week visit of my mom that almost drove me fucking nuts. We'll see; sometimes you have to put your self before others, and sometimes the other way around. What would be this time?

Maybe Not a Good Idea


To put a can of Coke in the freezer and forget about it is certainly not a good idea... It took me 30 minutes to clean up all that mess! Posted by Hello

Monday, November 01, 2004

One Night in Bangkok (2)

Holy shit! I thought that last night had been a regular party night: drinks, laughs, dance, more drinks and eventually getting drunk and dancing the night away just to wake up the next day with a hangover. But the true is that I got fucking wild in that club. I can't wait to see the pictures that I took, but this morning I log in the web page of the club and there I am, fucking drunk with my tongue out with people that don't have a clue who they are. And talking to one of my friends she told me of a moment when we fall on the floor -she doesn't remember why either- and at the end I also french-kissed a girl at the entrance. I kind of remember it, but this fucking vodka and Redbull definitely kills brain cells.

Today all day I've been having flash backs of the party; remembering things here and there. I fucking can't wait for the pictures I'm telling you. That was the wild-wild-southeast!