Friday, July 30, 2004

COFFEE BAR*

Steamed milk from
bookstore coffee bar.
This evening
tastes warm, frothy,
blend, better than
bittersweet coffees.
It's been a year, no coffeeshops,
fearing suggar
and stains.

*This was written by William, one of my classmates in the Creative Writing class. Pretty cool, ah?


Thursday, July 29, 2004

Sun BURN BABY BURN Bed (4)

Well, yes I burn my ass earlier today. I went to the tanning place and I was assigned bed # 2, instead of # 11 that was the one I use yesterday. The girl at the front desk warm me that it was stronger, so instead of the usual 20 minutes that you get, and the 12 minutes that I got yesterday she was going to give only 10. I thought for a second that it was not going to be enough, good thing I didn't open my mouth. That bed was smaller and I didn't see or feel anything special -other than my ass burning- but I thought it was normal.

Once I finished I went home, took a look and saw some red was staring to appear. "Normal" I thought. Then I went to my Creative Writing class from 6:30pm till around 8:30pm and then I started to feel a little uncomfortable. The wallet that I have in my back pocket was bothering me, I was very cold and had some hot chills and I thought that it was in one hand the "tan" and in the other the class room -too cold today.

It wasn't until I got back home that I realize that I look like the fucking Red Lobster. But not only that, in some parts I'm red as a tomato and in others I'm still white as a bottle of milk. Under my arms and the side of my legs I'm white; my upper chest is like in between; and my back, ass and legs are red as a communist star. Well, I realize now that it is the first time that I sun bath completely naked, and of course there's some parts of me that had never seen a ray of light. Surprisingly though, my "Anaconda" wasn't burn at all, not even a little bit. Which is the only positive thing, I just can't imagine how would have been to have it burned as my butt.

Better not take risks. Next time I'm gona have my sun block lotion handy, and FUCK bed # 2!!

Sun BURN Bed (3)

I burned my ASS!... and now it hurts. I'm writing standing up. I'll elaborate more later.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Sun Tan Bed (2)

I survived my first session. Just to give a brief story, a did a little research and found out that the price of the monthly subscription is directly related to how beautiful and outgoing the girls in the front desk are. The first place I went near my home wanted $60 for "1-month unlimited"; and as I say there was a very VERY beautiful girl, big boobs, bright smile and really outgoing and cute. She gave a tour around the place, explaining the difference machines, answer with confidence my questions, she even asked me where I was from (due to my southeRRRn aCCentO for sure) and even laugh at one of my jokes.
The second place was by far the largest, a huge local with tons of beds. The girl that took care of me was all right: thin, blonde, green eyes, but nothing special. She gave me a tour, but didn't quite know the difference between the beds other than "this one is better than that one, but not as good as the one over there; and this one here, erh, is just kind of different you know what I mean?" The price was excellent ($29.95 30-day unlimited) but had a catch: joining fee of $20. "But you can use it to buy a product and we just waive it..." Yeah right, you buy a $20 sunblock lotion that otherwise would have cost $9.
The third place belong to the same franchise above, therefore the same treatment with an average girl. Now the last place was sitting in a corner of a mall and looked kind of small. The girl at the front desk had a ton of make up, was on the phone all the time and to put it in one word she was "worthless". Didn't give me a tour (she was busy on the phone with her friend) and just handed me a voucher with all prices. And what did I see in it? I saw a winner! A 1-month unlimited for 30 bucks. No joining fee, no need to buy lotions or shit like that. The next day (today) I went there just to find the same girl, who was on the phone again but this time had to hung up when I told her that I wanted to join. For my first session didn't give the cheapest bed but one of the nice ones, as I say before I'm white as a bottle of milk and that bed doesn't have I don't what therefore you "will never burn". Whatever.

After reading all this crap I bet you got the idea. When it comes to spending US$ a pretty face and a nice pair of boobs won't do it -excluding lap dancers and prostitutes of course.

Sun Tan Bed (1)

Finally I made up my mind and I'm going to join a sun tan bed place. In few days I am going to have a golden color, fucking glowing around the streets of this town. People will be saying "look at his tan, I bet you he just came back from the Bahamas... or perhaps the Mediterranean". Being a red hair with freckles and white as a bottle of milk, the last thing that I want to do in this life is to lay under the sun, believe me. Every time I go the swimming pool or the beach or whatever, I have to wear a galon of sun block, otherwise I'll end up looking as the Red Lobster, therefore all my life (if I rememeber well) I have been white as gasper. Well, yes, I've been exagerating a LITTLE bit.

This is about to change ladies and gentleman of the jury. I am going to get a 30-day subscription to one of this places, and you'll see. No more words for now, is time to tan!

Monday, July 26, 2004

Haircut

Some things are inevitable in life: death taxes and a haircut every now and then. I got mine today at one of the local branches of "Supercuts". I use to wear my hair very short, more for practical reasons than anything else; you don't have to mess much with it and if you apply a little gel you just forget about it until the next day. These days however, that I've just finished my MBA and I'm looking for a job, I want to project a more "professional" image, so I'm trying to wear it a little bit long -well, not long but just a "regular person long". And being honest with you guys I have to say that I am far from being attractive or "hot" or anything like that, I'm just average and this new style makes me look even more average.

So I just came back from Supercuts, a Russian roulette let me tell you. Supercuts is one -if not the- cheapest saloon in town. A hair cut costs $12.95, plus a $2.00 tip you end up paying barely $15. If you compared to other places were some of my friends go were they have to spend somewhere between 35-40 bucks, its just unbeatable. That's the reason I still go there, If I was going to spend $40, I prefer to buy me a shirt or a par of jeans instead of getting a haircut, so by today I would have looked like Jesus Christ.

When I say is a Russian roulette a mean that you don't know if whoever is going to take care of you is going to end up cutting off your head. Some of the people that work there are experienced, no doubt about it, but among them is that person fresh out of beauty school that is waiting for you to practice. Practice with your damn hair.

Overall I've been lucky; not mayor problems and today was one of those. However, you can tell when the hairdresser doesn't really know what she (or he) is doing and then things start to get scary. This girl today didn't know how to start, couldn't find her clips, I explain her what I wanted and she said "you mean such and such..?" NO, please; exactly the opposite. I said I USE to wear it real short but not any more. "Oh, OK..."

If you buy cheap you get a poor quality and that's exactly what I got today. A job half done -yet better than not done or bad done.
I remember my roommate went to one of those places and they screw him BIG time. When he got home that night, man I thought that mother fucker was going to kill someone. His girls friend end up shaving his head and he looked like a hitman. Scary. 


Sunday, July 25, 2004

New Keybord

I just got a new keyboard, and I'm testing it. I have a laptop and those keys are so small and difficult to use -hey! I grew up with a type machine, so you know what I'm talking about. So far so good, smooth and easy. Beside this keyboard has so many functions, it seems to me that I am not going to have to use the mouse anymore, which is good because I have only 2 USB ports, one for the mouse and one for the printer -er, or the keyboard? or maybe just the keyboard and the printer? Yes, I know there's such device that gives you like 4 more ports -at a great price of $24,95!!!! Anyway, I have a new keyboard and I'm happy.

One thing I'm not very happy about is my sun glasses. A couple weekends ago I went to the lake with some friends and while enjoying the jetski I lost my sun glasses; I was doing 65MPH on a mirror-like lake on a quite friday morning. The jetski was turbocharged and before I could do anything that thing was flying, together with my Oakley. I went today to the mall, got my keyboard and say to myself: "OK tiger, let's get a nice pair of sunglasses! No wonder middle of the summer the prices are ski high, and the glasses that I had before are now $125 (I paid $78 for the same pair almost 2 years ago). Shit! I walked out very fucking dissapointed and mad at me for loosing those glasses. I'm heading to the gym right now to see if I can burn some of this anger doing some running, weights and looking at all those beautiful -and sweety- girls that go to my gym. Nice sunday morning...


Saturday, July 24, 2004

Bye Grandma

This morning my Grandmother passed away. 90 years old she was. Born in a whole different time, in a strange culture to me, almost a whole different world. Had 5 brothers and sisters; she was the last one. She had 2 children; my uncle and my Mom. Being my uncle gone almost a decade ago to cancer; for my Mom her nuclear family is gone.
I've never had a close relationship with my family, though Grandma was very cool. Always trying to feed my infinite hunger and always trying to wash out the freckles in my elbows -"it's not dirt Grandma, those are freckles for God's sake!" Everytime my family gets together, that story was a must; not funny to me at all.
She grew old and her body started to ache. Lost her vision a couple of years back and started to depend on every body for such simple things as going to the restroom. Being always very independent, that was a mayor set back for her. With all her friends passing away, she grew lonely -even though she was sorrounded by a nurse, maid, my Mom and my sisters. The last year her life was eating and sleeping; couldn't walk and had to be moved in a wheel chair. Last few weeks couldn't even eat and had to be feed through a probe. Sad to see her like that.
In a situation like that everybody suffers... now she's gone but she's still with us. Still with me. When I went out to college I remember her giving me a little stamp of the virgin Mary. It went with me around the world to Asia, Russia and Europe and back. Certainly that kept me out of trouble and doing good in life.
Thanks Grandma for everything; all the love that you gave me; for receiving me in your apartment everytime I was tired of my own house; for all that food and all those stories that you shared with me over the years. I can see you smiling down on us; together with all those who have left. I'll see you whenever my time arrives.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Her

It was around 4AM when we felt sleep. Early that night when we started arguing for a piece of lemon, I never thought what was going to happen. Las primeras luces de la maniana se colaban por la persiana mal cerrada de la habitacion. Aunque los inviernos en el tropico de capricornio tienen los dias cortos y nublados, mientras las noches son largas y frias, esa maniana y con solo un par de horas de suenio me desperte. se desperto. Desperto como nino a quien Papa Noel le acaba de traer una bicicleta nueva. Ella estaba tendida de medio lado con la espalada hacia mi. tenia su cabeza sobre la almohada y por unos instantes pude jurar que tenia una aureola. Que angel. Levante un poco las cobijas para verla. Totalmente desnuda al lado mio.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Technology

I'll get my new laptop in 12 days. I didn't realize before how adicted I am to the internet. I've felt lost all these days without a computer at home. Always when I wake up and while sipping my coffee I read my e-mail, read the news, listen to some music, some times listen to NPR through it, etc. whenever I need something like for example to know where the hell is Farengheit 911 been showed I go straight to the net, to know what the temperature is outside my window and so on. even if I feel kind of bored and don't have anythig to do, just surf the internet reading things here and there and just killing time. Or if is no the internet I maybe play a game, or read some of my old files, treat myself to my daily dosis of porn and so on. I even had gotten a movie pass with bockbuster and was watching all those dvd's in my laptop.
Is hard for me now to think how I use to life without a computer at all. When I went to college internet wasn't around, cel phones were as expensive as one month's rent, and computers -a plain desktop- was maybe three months's rent. And to see things today: I have a cel phone with unlimited calls (therefore I don't have a home phone) and id caller, text messages and voice mail and my laptop broke down and I just bought a new one. And I'm not saying that these changes took place in 20 years or 10. I'm talking about 7 years time.

What would be happening in 7 years? Maybe I'll just have a device the size of a cel phone with everything a man can need: phone, beeper, camera, video, jukebox, computer, internet and all those service that today I don't know of but that at that time I consider as important and necessary as the same air that I'm breathing today.

Cheers partners!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

More than a Corrupted File - Big Investment (3)

Yeah, I had to buy a new laptop. I checked the internet for a hard drive for my laptop and got a double surprise. First is that those hard drives are not as available as i thought at the beginning. On ebay those for sale aren't in a really good condition, and on cpmpaq.com i couldn't find it. So what I did is that I bought a new laptop, what the fuck! The investment for my income was a big one, but I need to have a fucking cimpoter at hjome, that's the bottom line. For the old one I'm planning to repair it and sell it; or maybe I just keep both of them -you know, I'm a snob and to have 2 laptops on your desk looks kind of kool, I don't know.

Anyway, the other thing that has a bad taste in my mouth is the price that I paid for the old laptop. I bought it used following the advise of my ex roommate. He told me that there was this guy who was selling one and that at $600 was a rip off. As he knows a lot about computers I said OK and thought that has made a good deal. However, now that I've been looking for the harddrive I looked into the prices of the laptops and, what kind I say. All the compaq 2700 that i found on ebay are not even closer to the ammount of money that I paid for it. I really think that this guy kind of charge me a little fee for the transaction and kept let say 200 bucks for him. Don't jhave any proves but I'm kind of dissapointed.

But hey, I have a new laptop and I'll be getting it next week. Can't wait fot that mother fucker to arrive.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Of Business, Culture and Tea

I have a part-time job as a waiter/server in a dinning room. This happens to be located on the top floor of a skyscraper somewhere in the US where I live. This dinning room is used only by few people, the top executives of a top company and their clients. All the big guys go there on regular bases, the CEO, CFO, members of the Board of Directors, and just a handful of other people. Vice Presidents? fuck'em, you have to be very high in the hierarchy to be able to use the services of the dinning room. And I, just a server who happens to have an MBA and who happens to work there. Just for the record, I don't see anything and I don't hear anything.

Few weeks ago a guy who workd in the international department, maybe the head of the department or close to it, took a group of chinese guests there for lunch. They come every now and then, have a great lunch with an espectacular view and talk about business - little bit. This one time lunch went fine, they ate like pigs appetizer -some of'em two appetizers, entree and dessert -choices are key lime pie, pecan pie, mango or strawberry sorbet or strawberries. On top of that we always offer coffee, decaf and hot tea. Damn, you can't ask for more after that.

When the time to offer coffee and tea came, one of the chinese guys asked me for "hot tea". I follow our procedure and went to the station, took a little pitcher of hot water over a plate with a little doily, grab the tea box and head for the table. Once I got there I putted the little pitcher down, leaned and offer ouir guest all the variety of teas that we carry -8 all together. This guy looked at me puzzle as hell; like what the fuck is going on?

In China, when going to a restaurant the first thing that they serve you is tea. Just like here in the west they put salt and pepper on the table, in China they always serve you tea. Is a tradition and at the same time is to welcome you to the restaurant. Therefore they just give you the fucking tea whether you like it or not, the traditional chinese tea which might be "hong Cha" -red tea, also known as black tea- or green tea. In other words, plain tea, like tub water if there's any comparision.

The host seeing that the chinese guy was kind of puzzle went ahead and said "well, you know, in the west we have options for everything, that is the escence of democracy... do you know what am I talking about?" and before he could say anythig he just brush it all and said, "give him some green tea, I'm sure you'll like it". Not only this guy -top executive I should say- lecture him on democracy and choices in one second, but pretty much step on him regardless of what his interests where. Does it ring any bell?

I would say lack of understanding of a different culture and the willing to just impose his will. No, it wans't GW if you're wondering, but hey, you have to learn from everything in life, don't you?

PS. I think I'm going to have to buy a new laptop...

Saturday, July 03, 2004

More tan a Corrupted File (2)

The plan worked very well; I spoke to my roommate that day and what I decided to do is to invite him to go and play tennis. We did (at around 9PM) and we played for about an hour or so. I Kicked his ass in a way few times seen before. We actuallt never play a whole set or a game, but we just hit the ball. At the end we always know who "won", no need to say anything, or to explain enything or to argue. The silence between we two is enough to say who kicked who's ass.
The next day I called him and left a message about my laptop. Later that day I called him again and he told me to come over so that he could take a look at it. I was watching a movie and was kind of lazy so I said "I'll go tomorrow". This morning then I showed up at his place and the usual, we chat for a little while, his girlfriend was very nice to me and those fucking dogs were just barcking at me like hell, little devils.
Up till that point everything was fine. But when he started looking at the laptop things started to get souar -at least for me. To summarize 90 minutes of work in one sentence, I should say that: I need a new hard drive. Fucking piece of shit that damn computer that I have. I thought was a software problem, as if you have ever run into Windows you know that one thing is sure about it, that bullshit sooner or later will let you down. But he said that it was not a software problem but a hardware one. To make a long story short because I have to go to work right now, I lost everything I had in my hard drive (the topic of another story) and I have to buy a new fucking hard drive and install all the programs and all the bullshit that I had before it all went south.
My original plan worked out very well: I had a good time playing tennis; went to his place and he didn't felt use; etc. But the part of my plan that I didn't think about was the actual problem with the damn laptop! Ups, a little miscalculation.
But Hey! don't blame it on my. At least this miscalculation hasn't cost any human lifes like the miscalculations of George W. Bush before, during and after 9/11.
Got to go. More to come.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

A corrupted File (1)

My laptop kind of die this morning... that piece of shit. It appears in the screen that some file necessary to strat up the whole system is either missing (it was there yesterday!) or is corrupted (the so called 'fatigue of the materials'). Don't ask me why but one thing that I have is common sense, and I just don't understand how come, if a simple file has been working fine for the last couple of months one day is going to wake up 'fatigue'.
I don't worry about my computer's health because I have one of the best doctors in town: my ex-roommate. This guy works for a VERY big software company and he knows everything a human being should know about both hardware and software, I'm sure it will take him just 5 minutes to put back on its feet again. The thing is that ever since i moved out of his house and into my new apartment, I haven't called him, reply his e-mails or stoped by and say hi. The only one time that I saw him was because I needed a favor related to my computer. So if I show up in his place with my laptop under my arm asking for his help, I'm sure he's going to feel that I show up whenever I need a favor (the whole and dirty truth).
The plan that I have in mind, becasue yes, I have a plan to fix my computer with his help but without making him feeling use is... And before I go ahead, let me just say that as I have just finished my MBA and I'm suppose to be or to act as someone with a master's degree, I've decided that I'll apply my master's degree to everyday situations -at the least for the time being and while I wait tables before my real job. So my plan is that today I'll show up at his place with a couple of Redhook, chat with him for a while, talk about this and that and just spend a nice evening -yes, I know I'll have to put up with his girlfriend who's not the friendliest person on this planet and her two dogs that plainly speaking fucking hate me and bark non-stop everytime they see my nice figure. Then tomorrow, I'll call him and say "Hey Dude, my computer broke down! Give a hand" and everybody will be happy. Am I smart or what?

That's Plan A. Now Plan B is pretty much like Plan A but a couple of days late. Hey sometimes simple situations need simple answers. Oh! by the way, I have to give him the check for the rent this weekened (I live in his girlfiend's apartment) so today beside the Redhook I'll take the ckeck with me. And I could also wish'em a "Happy Fourth of July!"

Sometimes I surprise my self! Not because of this well conceived plan, but because of all the bullshit I can come up for such a simple fucking problem like a corrupt file in my computer. C'yall.