Einstein 2

Please read this little post before venturing any further.

So here I am, back from church, and the white little paper that I took with me has ZERO phone numbers in it and my two unused condoms went back to the drawer in my night table, back where they've been since the last century.

This could be a long post of all the shit that I saw and my very clever and deep analysis of the whole event, but I just want to mention few things.

- The COMPLETE and absolutely lack of females of breeding age in service and around the church. So no girls, no motivation, no church for me.

- I forgot about the basket and it was passed THREE times. I had only a $20 in my wallet and I have better plans for it.

- I witnessed a baptism right in front of my eyes. They have some sort of jacuzzi right beside the podium and this people were drawn there from head to toes. What happened to the good old way of pouring a little bit of water on your head?

- The songs; oh Jesus Christ the songs! It has more rhythm a thunderstorm than those frigging songs!

- My mother in law; actually my sister's mother in law holding my hand everytime the minister or whoever was at the podium said "Let's pray". Thirty more minutes there and I swear I was going to get a hard on!

- Let's pray! We prayed like twenty times and every person was worst than the one before. They all started they prayers with lines such as "God, you're an awesome God" and shit. Man I had to bite my tongue several times not to laugh.

- That very sweet lady that was sitting beside me and who said "Amen!" every minute and nodded and agreed with every single word the priest was saying.

- The priest, who was wearing gym clothes and whose sermon was more like a session with Dr. Phil about loosing weight minus all the Bible quotes and the "you have to fear God" and all that.

- I missed my sister's mother in law's husband Bible study teachings where he spoke about *gasp* HELL. He mention something about that that shit really exists and that people better believe it does *ugh*. I was gona say to him "then, see you there pal!", but he paid for lunch so I preferred to stuff my mouth with plenty of food instead.

- I had to shake more hands and introduced myself to more people than I've ever had to in my whole life.

*Note to Self* Next time I set foot in there I'm gona go straight to the singles group and skip the whole mass thing, otherwise I'm going to kill myself in that very same jacuzzi by the podium!