Cuota de Manejo
If you would've asked me earlier last year, I would've answer "two". If the question would've been presented to me in January, I would've wrongly answered "two" -because the real answer was "one". And if you would've asked me today, right after I left my office building and while speeding towards my place and singing "She's got eyes of the bluest skies /As if they thought of rain I hate to look into those eyes / And see an ounce of pain ", my answer would've been "one, but not for long".
When I got home I found out that I'd forgotten to turn off the A/C as I do every morning -you know, just to save a buck or two- and my condo was nice and cool. But I was poised and my head was hot. I was a man on a mission, and even though I love to proscrastinate on every single thing out there, this shit had to be taken care of right away.
I called the toll free line for my former bank down in South America in order to cancel my credit card. Actually, that card had expired late last year and I hadn't even noticed it. My mom reminded me in an e-mail not long and I followed her instruction of sending the destroyed and expired plastic back to the land of my ancestors, the Mayas, as a first step in the cancellation process. After that, the next step was for me to call the toll free number and cancel it using my four-digit password and my ID number.
And before I go on, let me tell you that they don't call that region down the Rio Grande the third world in vain. . . there's a reason for it.
My bank charges a cuota de manejo every three months: a US$ 10 fee in order just to have the frikking card. I've been paying it because I'm a tool, there's no other explanation, and also because I wanted to keep those two cards just in case I had a an emergency one day -like being more than three weeks away from the *one* I deeply care for.
The thing is that one of my credit cards expired and I decided not to order a new one because that is just a waste of money. But Surprise-Surprise that when I called a couple of days ago to cancel it, they said that I couldn't do it because the credit card "had a balance". I grabbed the few red hairs I still have left in my head and yelled "someone stole my identity! I haven't used it in more than a year!". The lady at the other end of the line tried to calm me down by saying that no one had stolen anything, but that it was just the "cuota de manejo". Yeah right, tried to calm me down: I almost hit the roof!
After ten minutes going back and forth on how was it fucking possible for a bank to carge a "cuota de manejo" on a card that is good only as a bookmark, she confirmed to me that that's the way things are down there. Up until the moment when the owner of the card calls and with his four digit passwords access some decade old software, the credit card gets charged the so called "cuota de manejo".
I e-mailed my mother right after that call with precise instructions to pay that little amount and to confirm such transaction because the days when I was a happy customer of that financial institution were soon approaching the end of the road. This morning I got a confirmation of it and the first thing I did after stepping into my condo was to take a pee, of course, but the second one was to dial the toll free number and cancel that card once and for all.
As I said I still have one that is active, or should I say "had"? After the lady gave me a "first confirmation" of the transaction and told me that I still have to call back in 48 hours in order to get the "final confirmation", I asked her if there was any balance in my other credit card. When I heard "no, there isn't" my first animal instinct was to cancel it too right at that moment. Why wait for tomorrow? or for that matter until 07/07 when it officially expires? I could save myself $50 for not paying the "cuota de manejo" for the remaining life of the card and a sure headache when trying to cancel it right at the end ($10 x five more "cuotas de manejo" until 07/07=$50).
When asked very nicely the reason for my decision, instead of giving a whole thesis of why I was also canceling that other card and not requesting a new plastic in neither one, I just told them in plain and simple words about charging a "cuota de manejo" on an expired card. The girl on the other end of the line tried to tell something about the "great benefits" of being part of such financial institution, but I just repeated, very calmly, about charging a "cuota de manejo" on an expired card. I really think there's just nothing you can say or argue about such a crazy policy of that bank. Not to mention that on my previous two calls I'd spent a lot of energy and time trying to explain and make them realize how fucking criminal it is to do that.
A very simple match could've given the bank some extra income: waive that fee one time in one card and get five more "cuotas de manejo" on the other card, that I was not really planning in canceling. But if you hold to every single fucking penny you can squeeze out of your customers without leaving room for special situations like the one that happened to me, you end up losing money and customers. In my case it wasn't much, actually it was just a tiny little bit, "nothing!" you can even argue, and I completely agree, but those fuckers are not gona take my money no more!
When I got home I found out that I'd forgotten to turn off the A/C as I do every morning -you know, just to save a buck or two- and my condo was nice and cool. But I was poised and my head was hot. I was a man on a mission, and even though I love to proscrastinate on every single thing out there, this shit had to be taken care of right away.
I called the toll free line for my former bank down in South America in order to cancel my credit card. Actually, that card had expired late last year and I hadn't even noticed it. My mom reminded me in an e-mail not long and I followed her instruction of sending the destroyed and expired plastic back to the land of my ancestors, the Mayas, as a first step in the cancellation process. After that, the next step was for me to call the toll free number and cancel it using my four-digit password and my ID number.
And before I go on, let me tell you that they don't call that region down the Rio Grande the third world in vain. . . there's a reason for it.
My bank charges a cuota de manejo every three months: a US$ 10 fee in order just to have the frikking card. I've been paying it because I'm a tool, there's no other explanation, and also because I wanted to keep those two cards just in case I had a an emergency one day -like being more than three weeks away from the *one* I deeply care for.
The thing is that one of my credit cards expired and I decided not to order a new one because that is just a waste of money. But Surprise-Surprise that when I called a couple of days ago to cancel it, they said that I couldn't do it because the credit card "had a balance". I grabbed the few red hairs I still have left in my head and yelled "someone stole my identity! I haven't used it in more than a year!". The lady at the other end of the line tried to calm me down by saying that no one had stolen anything, but that it was just the "cuota de manejo". Yeah right, tried to calm me down: I almost hit the roof!
After ten minutes going back and forth on how was it fucking possible for a bank to carge a "cuota de manejo" on a card that is good only as a bookmark, she confirmed to me that that's the way things are down there. Up until the moment when the owner of the card calls and with his four digit passwords access some decade old software, the credit card gets charged the so called "cuota de manejo".
I e-mailed my mother right after that call with precise instructions to pay that little amount and to confirm such transaction because the days when I was a happy customer of that financial institution were soon approaching the end of the road. This morning I got a confirmation of it and the first thing I did after stepping into my condo was to take a pee, of course, but the second one was to dial the toll free number and cancel that card once and for all.
As I said I still have one that is active, or should I say "had"? After the lady gave me a "first confirmation" of the transaction and told me that I still have to call back in 48 hours in order to get the "final confirmation", I asked her if there was any balance in my other credit card. When I heard "no, there isn't" my first animal instinct was to cancel it too right at that moment. Why wait for tomorrow? or for that matter until 07/07 when it officially expires? I could save myself $50 for not paying the "cuota de manejo" for the remaining life of the card and a sure headache when trying to cancel it right at the end ($10 x five more "cuotas de manejo" until 07/07=$50).
When asked very nicely the reason for my decision, instead of giving a whole thesis of why I was also canceling that other card and not requesting a new plastic in neither one, I just told them in plain and simple words about charging a "cuota de manejo" on an expired card. The girl on the other end of the line tried to tell something about the "great benefits" of being part of such financial institution, but I just repeated, very calmly, about charging a "cuota de manejo" on an expired card. I really think there's just nothing you can say or argue about such a crazy policy of that bank. Not to mention that on my previous two calls I'd spent a lot of energy and time trying to explain and make them realize how fucking criminal it is to do that.
A very simple match could've given the bank some extra income: waive that fee one time in one card and get five more "cuotas de manejo" on the other card, that I was not really planning in canceling. But if you hold to every single fucking penny you can squeeze out of your customers without leaving room for special situations like the one that happened to me, you end up losing money and customers. In my case it wasn't much, actually it was just a tiny little bit, "nothing!" you can even argue, and I completely agree, but those fuckers are not gona take my money no more!
Jean-Francois was drunk at 9:04 PM
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