This is Dr. Jekill; and I'm Mr. Hyde
I know that there's quite a few things that are malfunctioning in me. I can't point them and say "here, this is what I'm talking about!", but I know that there's just things that should be different in my life; just stuff. And it's stuff that may not be life threatening but that bugs me and that I wish I could do something about it.
Take for instance the fact that I like to treat people right. I can stand quite a few slaps in the face before I put my fist in someone else'e smile; and even though I know someone is figuratively speaking slapping me in the face, I try to find a way around to solve the problem at hand. In other words, I would like to be able to be more aggressive when it comes to my job: to have a much shorter fuse for all that crazy fucking people I have to be on the phone with for hours trying to help them get their shit together. I wish I could use more intimidating techniques giving less than shit to what happens and happened in their lives that prompted me to call them.
"Your wife of 43 years passed away two weeks ago and she always took care of all the bills?". I wish I could come up with enough strength and cold blood to push people that are already close to the deep end even further and get payments out of them. I wish I could have enough nasty vocabulary to confront those people that filled their shopping cards not thinking that actually they have to pay for stuff they got [and I mean nasty as in nasty-allowed-by-the-law when you have to call them]. Instead of selling them the possibility to get their life back in track and stop the phone calls, I wish I could paint a picture of an imminent Armageddon in their lives if they don't follow my short and clear instructions immediately.
I can't threat people on the phone in order to get their shit together and by doing so my company's financial statement on the right track. I know that by not giving shit about their reasons and circumstances, my life could be much more easier and I wouldn't have to come back home all drained out and feeling like if a truck had ran me over. I wish I could be a little bit more devilish, more cold blooded, bossy, finger pointer, and above all to be mean as fuck.
I'm afraid of trying if I can get away with that side of me and if it actually could help me be "off the chain" when it comes to doing my job. I've always thought that in whatever task you're involved you always have to be you and find your own inner voice while at it, and everything else will fall in pace. And one of the reasons that hold me back for turning into a complete demon with goat tee, trident and tail is the possibility that that side of me could become more dominant and would eventually permeate to other aspects of my life, becoming nothing more than a human calculator able to see things under the magnifying glass of "how can this help me, me and only me".
And I've came to the realization that the longer I stay at this job, the closer things are gona get to me turning into a more bitter dude.
Take for instance the fact that I like to treat people right. I can stand quite a few slaps in the face before I put my fist in someone else'e smile; and even though I know someone is figuratively speaking slapping me in the face, I try to find a way around to solve the problem at hand. In other words, I would like to be able to be more aggressive when it comes to my job: to have a much shorter fuse for all that crazy fucking people I have to be on the phone with for hours trying to help them get their shit together. I wish I could use more intimidating techniques giving less than shit to what happens and happened in their lives that prompted me to call them."Your wife of 43 years passed away two weeks ago and she always took care of all the bills?". I wish I could come up with enough strength and cold blood to push people that are already close to the deep end even further and get payments out of them. I wish I could have enough nasty vocabulary to confront those people that filled their shopping cards not thinking that actually they have to pay for stuff they got [and I mean nasty as in nasty-allowed-by-the-law when you have to call them]. Instead of selling them the possibility to get their life back in track and stop the phone calls, I wish I could paint a picture of an imminent Armageddon in their lives if they don't follow my short and clear instructions immediately.
I can't threat people on the phone in order to get their shit together and by doing so my company's financial statement on the right track. I know that by not giving shit about their reasons and circumstances, my life could be much more easier and I wouldn't have to come back home all drained out and feeling like if a truck had ran me over. I wish I could be a little bit more devilish, more cold blooded, bossy, finger pointer, and above all to be mean as fuck.
I'm afraid of trying if I can get away with that side of me and if it actually could help me be "off the chain" when it comes to doing my job. I've always thought that in whatever task you're involved you always have to be you and find your own inner voice while at it, and everything else will fall in pace. And one of the reasons that hold me back for turning into a complete demon with goat tee, trident and tail is the possibility that that side of me could become more dominant and would eventually permeate to other aspects of my life, becoming nothing more than a human calculator able to see things under the magnifying glass of "how can this help me, me and only me".
And I've came to the realization that the longer I stay at this job, the closer things are gona get to me turning into a more bitter dude.
Jean-Francois was drunk at 8:37 PM
3 Comments:
oh i could teach you some mean things! instead of being mean, be firm. there's a very subtle difference between the two sometimes and not everyone is capable of differentiating between them. that's how i treat my boy students.
oh ps. maybe to clear your conscience you could volunteer and teach kids (or adults) who can't read "good" to read. maybe that might keep you from getting bitter?
and pps. it's not your fault their shit is not together. you're just like the janitor bringing in the mop saying LET'S GET THIS CLEANED UP! NOW!
That's the word: firm. I'm gona keep it in mind.
And more than being like the janitor, I would like to be like Conan the BArbarian saying little but getting quite few heads rolling!!!
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