The Office - Now Playing on Saturdays

On my way back from the office today [yes, I had to work today, no rest for the devil down here], as I entered the highway a police car was right behind me. I remembered that I'd forgotten to stick to my license tag the little sticker that shows that I already pay my car taxes, and [mentally] crossed my fingers to avoid being stopped. It worked out, I kept an steady 60MPH while yielding into the highway and then the cop passed me and moved to the center line.

From that point on and for the next five miles or so, a huge amount of cars formed a "package" right behind that police car. He was driving slightly faster than the speed limit, but way too slow for the usual red neck speeding from South Carolina into North Carolina -and for your usual redheaded foreigner who has to work sometimes on weekends.

I got a kick out of that situation because a couple of drivers who hadn't seen the police car where clearly infuriated about those "slow drivers". One of them tried to use the innermost lane to break free from that cloud of red necks only to see that it could've cost him quite a few greens and stopped short of passing the police car. I thought about stepping on the gas of my little red car and showing not just the police officer but everybody around what 2.5L can do and what does it really mean when you say that you have "balls" [it would've been more "short circuited balls" in this case, but still balls nevertheless]; but I realized that I better put that money in an *airplane ticket* than in a speeding ticket.

And it was a good thing that I got a laugh out of that situation, because to call people at 8AM on a Saturday morning is not gona get you to heaven and is certainly not gona prompt someone to use their best vocabulary with you. I use to feel bad about it, but I've been growing a thick skin on that situation and I even get a smile or two out of that: I picture people with hangovers after drinking and partying the night before, maybe waking up due to a phone ring that is lauder than usual and besides someone they don't quite remember and who looks way heavier than the night before, only to be greeted by a foreigner who in other words is demanding them to "pay up sucker!". That's just the perfect beginning of a very bad hair day indeed - hehehe [evil laugh].

I've always thought that if one day I hit the jack pot of the lottery, I'll get on the phone on my last Saturday morning and will start greeting people with a very firm yet nice "Did I wake you up you cheap piece of shit?! I'm Beelzebub himself and you better read to me your routing number followed by your account number or a fuck in the ass would feel like a walk in the park compared to what is in storage for you!!". Oh, and this will be done at 0600 EST just to make sure I wake you up; and just to add a cherry on top of all that whipped cream, I'll unlock all CST, MST and PST and you'll certainly be brought current that very same frikking day!