[Snail Mail]

I'd never heard the term "snail mail" until yesterday. Somehow my brain brought up a picture of a snail when someone explained it to me and it crack me up.

I don't use the snail mail very often because for what? You have to stay in line, sometimes a big line that moves as fast as a snail; I also never get the envelopes or invoices right and always have to ask for help from those "snail mail" people that are really as fast as snails too and who take all the time out there to do whatever they want to despite a looong line. And even though I'm overall very calm, to have to stand in line is the most nerve breaking shit there's out there for me. Seconds into standing in line I start to lose my cool and to turn into different shades of red: from a light "impatience red" to a more noticeable "this shit is taking for ever reddish-tone", to a higher degree of "Hurry up motherfucker strong red" all the way to "Just look at me and I'll fucking kill you dark-purple-ish-red".

Today I mail something on the snail mail and even though there was a slow moving line, I kept my cool at all times. In front of me was a young mom holding a very cute little baby-boy who was looking at me like if I was the first ever red-headed Latino he'd ever seen in his life. He was all wrapped up in blue, that's why I thought he was a boy; and unless I don't open my mouth to say something, I guess no one will notice that I'm a southerner from way down south.