I Promise
I used to promise a lot of things to a lot of people for different reasons, and very seldom followed through. I used to promise little things, mild stuff, and bigger than life shit: I promise I'll call you tomorrow; I'm gona write to you more often, I promise; I'll be there, promise; promise I will not do it again; etc. I also used to swear I was gona do stuff. Growing up as a Catholic boy and attending a Catholic school, to swear that you were gona do something was a major word. You could promise and not deliver, but if you swear and don't do what you swore you were gona do, the punishment was nothing less than hell. But how about if you really try but somehow you can't? -I used to ask myself very innocently. It came down to your intentions, because God knows, sees, listens and understands everything; so if you swore and all along knew that it was empty then you'll end up going to hell.
A promise comes when something somehow had gone wrong in the past. A promise is a reassurance that this time it's true, or that this time one is serious about it. A promise also comes when the other party doesn't really believe that you're gona deliver what you said you were gona do. When you start promising, the odds that an "I'm sorry" will have to be used in the future grow exponentially.
Today I'm still promising things on daily bases; more as a way to please whoever is pushing me to "promise" than to do it because I really believe in the power of it. If you want me to promise you that I'll be there at three o'clock in the afternoon, with a full suit and a neck tie in the middle of August waiting for you outside, I promise you that that promise is as full of wholes a Swiss cheese. But I'll promise it anyway, if that's what you want. Promise me you'll love me for ever: yes, I promise you that. Promise that I'll never forget you. I've said that quite a few times, but don't quite remember who were the recipients of those promises. I remember the last time, and a couple more before that, but beyond that, promises get a bit blur.
I do follow through some of the promises that I make, but I would've done with or without having to promise it. I promised something to someone today and I did it, but I was gona do it anyway. But I also promised an hour ago to my friend Alexandra that I was gona call her later today, but she'll have me on the phone for at least forty five minutes giving all the details about her wedding that will take place this spring, and I really don't feel like going through that tonight. I'll call her tomorrow; not a big deal. She knows that I don't like talking on the phone that much, but still, knowing that fact she made me promise her that I was gona call her. And I promised.
People out there promise you all the stars in the universe if you buy their product; and when you use it, it doesn't even produce a spark. The promise was on the purchase of it, not the actual use and enjoyment of whatever you had to have. Radio, TV and print publications promise you pretty much everything between heaven and hearth, and they even promise you heaven and earth for you and/or whoever you want to include.
For me promises are empty, are not worth a penny split in two. If I promise something and don't do it, then I'm sorry. Or maybe I'll be soooooo sorry, but ______ [fill in the blank with whatever excuse]. "I'm sorry" and "I promise you" are pretty much the same word to me, and one follows the other one, and that one is as empty as the other one when it comes to promises. [Let me clarify that I do believe in the power of "I'm sorry", but when it comes alone, without explanations and attachments and half truths. But I've never been sorry for breaking a promise, because I've always had an excuse for doing it.]
What I do believe in and treasure is my word.
I give my word to someone when I really feel that it is important and when I'm going to deliver whatever comes attached to my word. But it cannot be asked for, it has to come from within me, it has to be spontaneous and the matter has to be serious enough to use it. Otherwise I'll promise the sky and the stars. I think the power of one's word is not understood, and many times underestimated, but that's the most worthy possession anyone can have: his word. I can swear and go to hell; and can promise and forget about it, but giving and keeping my word is a big deal for me. Not delivering what was behind it is a big blow for my own credibility: me believing in myself. The worst anger is the one directed against one's self, and I wouldn't like to be in that position again.
A promise comes when something somehow had gone wrong in the past. A promise is a reassurance that this time it's true, or that this time one is serious about it. A promise also comes when the other party doesn't really believe that you're gona deliver what you said you were gona do. When you start promising, the odds that an "I'm sorry" will have to be used in the future grow exponentially.
Today I'm still promising things on daily bases; more as a way to please whoever is pushing me to "promise" than to do it because I really believe in the power of it. If you want me to promise you that I'll be there at three o'clock in the afternoon, with a full suit and a neck tie in the middle of August waiting for you outside, I promise you that that promise is as full of wholes a Swiss cheese. But I'll promise it anyway, if that's what you want. Promise me you'll love me for ever: yes, I promise you that. Promise that I'll never forget you. I've said that quite a few times, but don't quite remember who were the recipients of those promises. I remember the last time, and a couple more before that, but beyond that, promises get a bit blur.
I do follow through some of the promises that I make, but I would've done with or without having to promise it. I promised something to someone today and I did it, but I was gona do it anyway. But I also promised an hour ago to my friend Alexandra that I was gona call her later today, but she'll have me on the phone for at least forty five minutes giving all the details about her wedding that will take place this spring, and I really don't feel like going through that tonight. I'll call her tomorrow; not a big deal. She knows that I don't like talking on the phone that much, but still, knowing that fact she made me promise her that I was gona call her. And I promised.
People out there promise you all the stars in the universe if you buy their product; and when you use it, it doesn't even produce a spark. The promise was on the purchase of it, not the actual use and enjoyment of whatever you had to have. Radio, TV and print publications promise you pretty much everything between heaven and hearth, and they even promise you heaven and earth for you and/or whoever you want to include.
For me promises are empty, are not worth a penny split in two. If I promise something and don't do it, then I'm sorry. Or maybe I'll be soooooo sorry, but ______ [fill in the blank with whatever excuse]. "I'm sorry" and "I promise you" are pretty much the same word to me, and one follows the other one, and that one is as empty as the other one when it comes to promises. [Let me clarify that I do believe in the power of "I'm sorry", but when it comes alone, without explanations and attachments and half truths. But I've never been sorry for breaking a promise, because I've always had an excuse for doing it.]
What I do believe in and treasure is my word.
I give my word to someone when I really feel that it is important and when I'm going to deliver whatever comes attached to my word. But it cannot be asked for, it has to come from within me, it has to be spontaneous and the matter has to be serious enough to use it. Otherwise I'll promise the sky and the stars. I think the power of one's word is not understood, and many times underestimated, but that's the most worthy possession anyone can have: his word. I can swear and go to hell; and can promise and forget about it, but giving and keeping my word is a big deal for me. Not delivering what was behind it is a big blow for my own credibility: me believing in myself. The worst anger is the one directed against one's self, and I wouldn't like to be in that position again.
Jean-Francois was drunk at 9:40 PM
1 Comments:
that´s a good point. i like to term losing credibility to myself as "cheating" on myself. and i agree, it is the worst. wow now i think i could write a whole post on that. but i wonder what prompted this post.
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