Further North

*Someone* told someone else this past weekend that he had sweaty hands. . . And even though that someone may not have sweaty hands, maybe the circumstances around him could've cause a shift in his body's chemical balance promting hands to sweat.


Just think about if one day you decide to fly into a huge new city where you don't even know where north and south is and you go rent a car and hit the road and the fucking GPS doesn't work! Wouldn't your hands sweat? And if even though you know that you have to make a right, right after making a right, but you don't even know where the hell the interstate is, wouldn't you get a bit nervous or perhaps a little anxious prompting your hands to sweat?

And consider for a second that if you went to that city for nothing in particular and get lost while driving, the worst thing that can happen is that it will take you a couple of hours to find the right track; but if you have a rendevouz with *someone*, wouldn't your hands sweat a little bit more while you try to find your way north-west? And if that *someone* you're gona see turns out to be a very cute girl, wouldn't your body malfunction making your hands sweat? Think about it: having a rendevouz, driving in a complete strange land, and thinking that while you're lost, struggling with the GPS in one hand that by then is good only as a flashlight to read the print out instruction of how to get from point A to point "B", that very cute girl might be in a hotel lobby gulping down a cosmopolitan and waiting for your lost ass?

I would say in a case like that is ok for your hands to sweat a little bit.

And now think that somehow you find your way and after realizing that you don't have coins to pay for the toll when exiting the interstate therefore having to sail through it at the speed of light, and get to the hotel to realize that that cute girl is actually VERY cute and she has the upperhand because the cosmo is already gone and the bartender and everybody at the bar is smiling at her like if she was a VERY cute girl waiting for some dude who [fingers crossed] couldn't make the fucking GPS work, wouldn't your hands sweat a little bit? That's if you haven't already gone from 90 MPH to 0 MPH and are wrapped around a tree together with the rental car waiting for a doctor to pick you up with a spoon of course.

And after a nice chat that evening where you realize how blue her eyes are and how white her smile is, and where you guys sit inches from each other by the chimney talking shit and telling stories, and at the end of the night you agree to pick her up the next morning to hang out all day, wouldn't your hands start sweating? I'd say that "maybe a little bit". But just maybe.

And then think that when you show up at her place the next morning to pick her up, and say hi to her dad who is cleaning his 9 mm and who looks at you like if he just found the perfect target to practice the so-called "shot between the eyes" [ok, not really], and on top of that you realize that she's not just cute, but very fucking cute and looks even better than the night before, wouldn't your hands would began to sweat just a bit more than normal? Maybe no; but maybe yes. Just think that you're just a regular dude who just doesn't go flying everyweekend to exotic destinations to meet cute girls, but that you are just your regular next door red headed Latino living in the South. Wouldn't you think that your hands may sweat a tiny little bit more than usual? Again: maybe yes, maybe no.

Then you follow the encyclopedia of good behavior and open the door for her only to realize that you actually have to drive and talk to her at the same time. And if that was not enough, you get to spend the rest of the morning and early afternoon with her doing daily life stuff around a cup of hot tea/coffee while she looks as good as she wants: wouldn't your hands would begin not just to sweat but also to shake maybe? Ok, it could be the caffeine together with the lack of food, but still, wouldn't your hands sweat a little bit? Maybe not, actually.

And perhaps going to have lunch with her and a nice chat may help you relax a bit and even though you still have to drive back to her place, you may not go down in history as the dude with the "sweaty hands" after all. Maybe you're able to put a lit on it all at that time and not to have your hands sweating. But if you guys drive back to her place just to find out that there's no one there and that she's gona invite you to have a cortadito, wouldn't you start to feel a little thirsty due to all the hand-sweating going on? If so, you may say "just water" when she asks you if you want anything to drink besides the cortadito, just so that you can replace the liquid that you've lost throughout the day.

I don't even want to think what crazy chemical reaction your body could've had if things would evolve pass square one and you end up cuddling together with the aforementioned *super-cute gurl* all day next day which at that time would certainly get an upgrade from "cute" to "very fucking pretty" but trying not to use profanity around such angel you would just say "very pretty" while looking deep into her blue eyes and kissing her white smile and yummy lips. Just to think about it make my hands sweat!

Hmmm maybe if one day I'm face to face with the aforementioned situation, I would show her with plenty kisses and cosquillitas and many hugs and plenty of besos and whispers that when a guy shaves his chin at 2 AM in the morning is because he cares about her more than he actually would like to admit.