SSIL

Last time I spoke with my SSIL was right before Christmas; she invited me to spend it with her and her family but I declined her invitation [didn't want to have to buy gifts for all of them, I know, what a cheap bastard I am]. I thought about calling her for New Year's, just to say "hola" and to wish them the best for the coming year, but I didn't feel like talking to her. And I've been fully aware that a 5-minute phone call in this new year's is nothing less than Good Manners 101, and I should've done it before. But again, I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't have any reason in particular, is just that I don't have anything to talk to her or anything new to tell her.

So today she called me. I thought twice before picking it up, but I know that if I don't, then within the next twenty four hours I'll have to return her the call: better to get over with it right there and then.

The first couple of minutes was an exchange that is so typical between the people where I grew up in South America: you go back and forth asking how are you, how's it going, what's up, how are things going, tell me what's new, how's your family and so on and so forth. Is not that you expect a different answer after such grilling, but is just the way it goes. Let's just say that is a "cultural thing". So after that exchange, she says that she wants me to meet someone and hands the phone to a girl. Before I go on let me refresh your mind by saying that when I first met them, and when I told them that I was single, they said that they were gona find me a nice young lady for me and that they've brokered something like sixteen marriages. That was back in the days when they thought that I was just a lost sheep and that I was gona end up being part of their church.
So this girls comes on the phone, she has no clue who I am, I have no fucking idea who she's and we're pushed to do some small talk. Being the nice guy that I am we exchange some information and actually do some small talk, both agreeing that it will be a "great idea" to go out one day. Before I can ask her phone number, my SSIL gets back on the phone and invites me to one of her son's birthday party [I decline again] and gives me this girl's cell phone number [with her consent? who knows]. And to wrap up that phone call nicely, she invites me again to go to church with them.

Now, what fucking part she hasn't got: I told her that I like to do other things on Sunday morning than to take a shower, dress and go for one hour to sing and smile and to listen to a guy [the priest] telling me things I could care less about. I haven't told her with this very same words but by now it should be more than obvious that I ain't church material. But she keeps bringing it up and I'm afraid I'm gona have to tell her, with plain and clear words that could leave no room for misunderstandings, that I really don't appreciate her inviting me to go to church. They're nice but as the song goes "if you don't know me by now, you'll never ever know me"; and if they keep pushing on the same topic, I'm just gona detach myself more than what I've already done due all their religious talk.

"A buen entendedor, pocas palabras" says the good old saying; but for them the a most accurate one would be "no hay peor sordo, que aquel que no quiere oir".