On Wealth and R-ships

First of all, an idea coated with a nice icing of reality: people I hang out with these days are anything but bright. Ugh, that sounded horrible, I called my friends "idiots" in the most subtle way I could. But reality has t-boned every single expectation I've had on them, so what a better place to go and rant than to my blog.

Last weekend I saw a group of people (friends if you prefer) and among them was a girl that I also know and who's good friends of one of my "friends". Just an annoying girl. We were talking about nothing in particular and I don't know when that girl said that she wanted to marry a rich guy. This post is about what happened from then on.

The conversation revolved around that topic for a while and of course we all had fun with it. Everybody came up with a different scenario and his/her own ideas, and even one of my friends said that he didn't matter becoming a "soccer dad". It was actually very funny. And even though it was a Friday night conversation, the truth of the matter is that when everybody around me starts agreeing on certain topic, or a discussion ends up with everybody nodding and repeating each other's words, an uneasy feeling sets on me. I begin to think that we aren't looking at it from a different perspective, or that we're just missing the big picture, or that our discussion/conversation is so trivial and shallow that is just hard not to agree upon it. So when that happens, I stir the pot.

I tried to challenge them to really think what would life be with an "uptown girl", to use Billy Joel's song. I wanted them to really get out of all those clichés and think what does it really mean to hook up with a very wealthy girl. I can perfectly understand anyone nodding to the idea of finding a "rich someone", specially people from South America, because every single novela down there tells the same story: rich boy falls for the poor girl and after some struggle where the evil mother in law gets involved, they live happily ever after.

But here, in the real world, could things be like that? I tried to make them put their feet on the ground and discuss the plausibility of that idea and what benefits/disadvantages it could bring to one's life. I know the whole conversation started as a joke, but how about having a fun and an interesting conversation at the same time?

Bad idea. The annoying gal called me "smart ass" when I laid out my point of view and started asking people's take on the whole issue. Her idea was pretty much to get down with whoever had enough cash in his bank account that could allow her to leave her day job and start rising babies. She repeated that very same idea in different ways but she couldn't (or didn't want to) picture herself in that parallel universe. And neither anyone around; they just kept repeating clichés and stories taken straight out from one of the million novelas shown down there.

Throughout the weekend I gave it a thought, and the following trend of ideas were the loudest in my head. Before venturing any further, and as this is an exercise, I'll try to put some limits and draw some lines on this issue.

I'm going to identify two types of wealth here: inherited and self made.

Self made is (duh) self explanatory: regardless of your background you've worked hard to get your own money. This could be a fascinating topic, but I'm not gona talk about this category in this particular post: it entitles making too many assumptions and to take too many things for granted. I'm gona focus on inherited wealth (aka being born and raised into a rich family).


Wealth is such an irresistible magnet that it attracts everything in sight. The idea of finding someone you really care for and that on top of that has plenty of cash is a nobel idea (I should've said that that person comes on top of a pile of cash better).
Wealth entitles access to many products and services that other people cannot afford: good nutrition from early childhood, good schools, peaceful neighborhood and a clean and save environment would lead a healthy kid to grow happy and confident. Excess of cash can help get tutors to excel in school and to have time to enjoy activities and sports that could create new interests and affinities. Wealth may allow travel, within and outside the country, being exposed to other cultures, places, and faces, languages and situations that could help that child become a very interesting and educated human being. Wealth also entitles access to country clubs, gyms, beauty salons and plastic surgeons that could make anyone look easy to the eyes.

So inherited wealth could translate into someone who's interesting, has a great personality, good education and good looks. Frikking Wonder Woman in other words! Now, all that wealth doesn't mean that you're attracted to the mutual funds and properties and fast cars her family might posses, but that you're attracted to the person regardless of her bank account statement. Good, up till here, all is roses and smiles and the theory as flown very easy.

Enter reality: what's the use of a wife from a wealthy family? Put aside how wonderful Wonder Woman is when the two of you are alone. What benefits and what kind of happiness could an "uptown girl" bring into your life; happiness related to money. The most logic answer would be that your in laws could help you with the down payment of a house, or perhaps they'll provide the whole house. And in those very same lines, they could hook you up with some toys for the house (plasma TV, new car, etc.). A wealthy wife could have a house on the beach where the newlyweds can go whenever they want; awesome. And let's see what else. . . she may come together with a membership to the country club. So to put it in more theoretical words, a wealthy wife could grant you access to more and better products and services that you've previously had. And the wonderful people that comes with it.

Undoubtedly it will be pretty cool not to have to pay a 30-year mortgage, but everything in life comes with a price tag [everything but true love/friendship that is]. And the price of having a lot of stuff sooner in life, thanks to the wife's family's wealth, looks very high to me. I'd have trouble accepting such amount of money from my in laws. I've always felt that wealth is such an irresistible magnet that people can end up owning you, without you realizing it. I'd feel that if someone pays my mortgage, I'd be obliged to please them in whatever they demand from me -some restrictions apply of course. And even more so, if you depend financially on someone or at least partially, there's a big cloud hanging over one's head day and night, a big Damocles sword. Is it maybe pride from my part? Perhaps, but I just don't like to have to owe something to someone. As I said, I hate feeling obliged to have to please someone [hugh]. And I also think that you have to live within the limits of your income, getting your very own stuff little by little and when the opportunity arises. To live beyond one's own income and credit opportunities is end up pretending you're someone else.

When you get into a serious relationship, and I mean serious beyond my previous relationships, and you think about getting married [gasp!] and perhaps starting a family [double gasp!!] and so on and so forth, you bring into your new nuclear family whatever surplus or deficit there's in all your bank accounts. And putting aside a prenuptial agreement (which I think is sick) the good old saying of "mine is yours and yours is mine" fully applies.

Ok, very interesting topic and there's many more thing hanging around it that I'd like to include, and perhaps a couple of things to dig deeper, but I'll try to give them a second thought and include them in some later post. Eventually, of course.

One last thought on this whole issue is that based on her looks and her personality, that annoying girl from last Friday's is set for a big disappointment in this life.