On Wealth and R-ships (2)
Upon further discussion with the mirror and some post-examination of the previous post, I decided to ask some question here and there (aka around the water cooler) in order to get some new ideas and perhaps some insight on the issue at hand.
While at it, I ran into Tamara (Tammy) a Lady that works in the same floor that I do and with whom I'd exchange greetings. I overheard few days ago that her son just got married to a girl from South America and I decided to ask her how things are working out [non of my business, but if you ask nicely, you may get a positive answer]. And in this case her answerS, because I asked her a lot of questions, made me take this little exercise one step further and try to turn the tables on my whole theory. Instead of thinking and theorizing about how a relationship with an "uptown girl" could be, how about if I put myself on the side of the "uptown boy". I wonder why I didn't think about this before, because in all honesty, is there anything not to LOVE about me? hahaha *wink*wink*
Anyway, back to earth. Tammy is a lady with three kids and [are you ready for this?] SEVEN grandchildren! When she saw me rising my eyebrows she said "and no, I didn't marry when I was fifteen!". I told her that she then married when she was twelve! She looks like if she was in her early forties, and for a woman with three kids and SEVEN grandchildren, she looks very good. I didn't ask her her age, but I deduced she must be around 50.
The story of her life is very simple: grew up in north eastern Minnesota, where according to her there's only two seasons "cold and very cold". She got married right after finishing high school and started college, but after her first semester got pregnant and had to drop out. Then, the other children came and she had to start working because one breadwinner wasn't enough in her household. Years later she went back to college but that very same year her son had an accident and had to be in rehabilitation for almost a year, so she drop out again in order to take care of him. After thirty years, she's now back in school and if I understood well she's working on her CMC degree.
So my informal interview with her had me thinking about my previous post. I'm gona try to write a very concise set of ideas because today is Live Music Tuesday! and I'm already late. Now, all the theory in my previous post sound very good, and based on other posts is crystal clear that I know what I'm looking for in a girl, but there's nothing like having a sea of theory in place to get a little drop of reality in order to transform it into a dessert [aka eat your own words one by one]. The truth about relationships is that you hook up with whoever you feel comfortable and happy with. Period. There's no more to it.
So how about if I find a girl that I really like but that doesn't fulfill all that fancy prose about a girl born into a wealthy family and the education and the travels and blah blah blah. Let's take Tammy thirty years ago as an example, and this is just for the purpose of the theory. She's a girl with not much education and travel wise I'd say she didn't venture further than Minneapolis, maybe Chicago in a school trip but that's it. Would I have a problem accepting her in the case that she sees me like an "uptown boy". How about if she comes up with the very same theory that I wrote in my previous post saying that she may not be good enough for me.
I'll tell her that she's out of her mind right away. And dump her immediately for having such a stupid idea! That laundry list of the girl that I would like, is more a list of "pluses" [+++] rather than a list of basic things that have to be fulfilled. As mentioned before, the basic thing is to like someone, the rest can be worked out [and I can always show her not just the world, but the whole frikking universe!!].
All right. Tonight is Live Music Tuesday and I'm already late for it. So enough of this topic. Hmmmm maybe I could try to find a country girl at the bar who drives a Camaro and her hair style could be described as "mullet" in order to test all these theories. I mean, just for the sake of Scientific Research of course. . .
While at it, I ran into Tamara (Tammy) a Lady that works in the same floor that I do and with whom I'd exchange greetings. I overheard few days ago that her son just got married to a girl from South America and I decided to ask her how things are working out [non of my business, but if you ask nicely, you may get a positive answer]. And in this case her answerS, because I asked her a lot of questions, made me take this little exercise one step further and try to turn the tables on my whole theory. Instead of thinking and theorizing about how a relationship with an "uptown girl" could be, how about if I put myself on the side of the "uptown boy". I wonder why I didn't think about this before, because in all honesty, is there anything not to LOVE about me? hahaha *wink*wink*
Anyway, back to earth. Tammy is a lady with three kids and [are you ready for this?] SEVEN grandchildren! When she saw me rising my eyebrows she said "and no, I didn't marry when I was fifteen!". I told her that she then married when she was twelve! She looks like if she was in her early forties, and for a woman with three kids and SEVEN grandchildren, she looks very good. I didn't ask her her age, but I deduced she must be around 50.
The story of her life is very simple: grew up in north eastern Minnesota, where according to her there's only two seasons "cold and very cold". She got married right after finishing high school and started college, but after her first semester got pregnant and had to drop out. Then, the other children came and she had to start working because one breadwinner wasn't enough in her household. Years later she went back to college but that very same year her son had an accident and had to be in rehabilitation for almost a year, so she drop out again in order to take care of him. After thirty years, she's now back in school and if I understood well she's working on her CMC degree.
So my informal interview with her had me thinking about my previous post. I'm gona try to write a very concise set of ideas because today is Live Music Tuesday! and I'm already late. Now, all the theory in my previous post sound very good, and based on other posts is crystal clear that I know what I'm looking for in a girl, but there's nothing like having a sea of theory in place to get a little drop of reality in order to transform it into a dessert [aka eat your own words one by one]. The truth about relationships is that you hook up with whoever you feel comfortable and happy with. Period. There's no more to it.
So how about if I find a girl that I really like but that doesn't fulfill all that fancy prose about a girl born into a wealthy family and the education and the travels and blah blah blah. Let's take Tammy thirty years ago as an example, and this is just for the purpose of the theory. She's a girl with not much education and travel wise I'd say she didn't venture further than Minneapolis, maybe Chicago in a school trip but that's it. Would I have a problem accepting her in the case that she sees me like an "uptown boy". How about if she comes up with the very same theory that I wrote in my previous post saying that she may not be good enough for me.
I'll tell her that she's out of her mind right away. And dump her immediately for having such a stupid idea! That laundry list of the girl that I would like, is more a list of "pluses" [+++] rather than a list of basic things that have to be fulfilled. As mentioned before, the basic thing is to like someone, the rest can be worked out [and I can always show her not just the world, but the whole frikking universe!!].
All right. Tonight is Live Music Tuesday and I'm already late for it. So enough of this topic. Hmmmm maybe I could try to find a country girl at the bar who drives a Camaro and her hair style could be described as "mullet" in order to test all these theories. I mean, just for the sake of Scientific Research of course. . .
Jean-Francois was drunk at 9:01 PM
4 Comments:
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the title I literacy teacher at my school is from chile. she is getting her masters and is married to a mexican. one day i ran into her in the lounge and she was complaining about something. she then told me, don't marry someone who isn't at your same educational level (or something like that). i was like, yeah i've already got that one figured out.
because not that i'm a snob but there are certain minimum requirements that yes perhaps could be surpassed given the right person, but in general are there for a reason. maybe it works for guys where they can tolerate an uneducated girl (take David Copperfield's first wife - i mean the DC written by charles dickens) - jared diamond might be able to argue why this could happen.
i've just felt for a while now that both people must be on the same level intellectually, because when the small talk runs out and the sex gets routine or they both get obese, what are they going to talk about?
though education is not the fool-proof weed-out. i mention it as a MINIMUM requirement, because i know a few people who have had an education similar to mine that just lack anything interesting beneath the surface.
I actually consider "small talk" as a key ingredient in a relationship. Is thanks to it that you really get to know and enjoy someone. (By small talk I refer to that daily exchange of daily life: what happens at school, the job, the grocery store, the gym, and small stuff that allows you to grow to know whoever you're with, and to get to know when and what makes your better half happy, sad and whatever other feeling in between.)
And I do agree completely w/you in that last paragraph, bc an education is a good starting point but is not the ultimate answer.
PS. One day I may get old and cenil, don't even remembering my own name; and maybe at some point in the future my manhood may run out of steam (God forbid); but it'll never EVER happen that someone will point his finger at me on the street to say "that fat ass red haired over there" ;-)
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