On Pictionary and...
Last night was a night of Pictionary, high emotions, and a night when I fully realized that I am a boob man, hell yeah. There was also a night where my poor little heart got tested: but not the heart that is attached to my love life, I'm talking about the real one, the one hidden under my hairy chest. And believe it or not it was a night were many asses got kicked, and even though I shouldn't say it in this pages, my ass was one of the kicked ones. And overall was a night with friends, beer and a very cool time.
And it was a night when after more than a year away from them, I got to wear my contact lenses again. And if I questioned myself earlier that night of why it had been so long since the last time, by the time I got home and tried to unglue them from my eyes, the answer was obvious.
Pictionary is such a cool game. My friends had it, and after a session of karaoke we end up playing it. The early karaoke session went as it always does: everybody is kind of timid at the beginning, no one really wants to sign or no one knows which song to sing, and then after someone jumps in the water and sings some of those cheesy songs, then everybody's Lucianno Pavaroty emerges and the poor microphone is ripped off from whoever has it. And of course regardless of who had the microphone we end up singing those oldies but goodies from the top of our lungs. . . so loud that the poor next door neighbor came to tell us to please shut the fuck up before it starts raining. At that moment was when we decided to put the karaoke on hold and move to the Pictionary.
There was eight of us last night, so we made two teams of four for the game. Actually one team had four, and the other one had 3,5: three girls and one of my friends who was all trashed, therefore the 0,5. The game was in Spanish and it had some very fucking hard words and a lot of fun shit happened. For example, I had to draw the word Torre Latinoamericana [Latin American Tower], which sounds difficult but was quite easy actually. First I draw two lines to let them know that it contained two words; then I draw a building and they found the first word [torre]; and then I draw the Latin American continent and those donkeys in my team weren't able to figure it out, could you believe it? They kept yelling Sur América!, but I draw the continent all the way up to the Río Grande to point out that it was ALL of it, therefore Latinoamérica. And if you put it together with the first word, then the answer was just as easy as stepping on a cockroach. But these Einteins kept yelling torre suramericana and after I told them, through my draw, that they were very fucking close to it. . . time ran out.
Surprisingly enough another harder line came suprisingly easy: Triángulo de las Bermudas. One of my teammates draw a triangle and we all shout "triángulo", and before he could draw anything else another friend yelled Triángulo de las Bermudas out of nowhere! OK, that was an easy one actually. Throughout the night we had words like velocidad [speed], hacer garabatos [scribble], aeropuerto, dolor de espalda [back ache], panal de abejas [honey comb], dormir [to sleep], puerta [door], hervir [to boil], dollar, cinturón de seguridad [seat belt], and so on.
But at the end my team got their asses kicked in a Grand finale that was nose to nose and looked like a Hollywood movie. My team got to the end first but when you roll the dice you have to get to the last spot with the exact number and win the last challenge, and we failed miserable to get those exact fucking numbers. But the other team arrived right to the end in their first try, which has a challenge where both teams have to draw. The final word was Religion and in a very contested and extremely fishy maneuver the other team yelled the answer before we could. That last leg of the game reminded me of how GWB got elected. . . don't want to say out loud that they cheated, but I'm sure they cheated.
I hate to get my ass kicked in those board games. And even more so because that was a struggle between women and men last night: we were four men in my team and the other team was three girls and my fucked up friend. I guess the rational explanation for them beating us is that we were over confident and thought that we had it; or perhaps they were just lucky; or maybe they really cheated. Anyway, for the record they won.
The excitement of the night came while we were in the early stages of the karaoke session. . . It arrived in the form of two round and I would venture to say a perfect pair of 34C boobs followed by a super-duper-cute brunette. My friends have a little boy and he's friends with that beautiful brunette's baby boy [of course she's married], and the kid was staying for the night. She came to check on her boy and stayed for about 5 minutes chatting with my friend's wife right at the entrance, while we tried to pretend that we were singing.
I thought for a moment that she was coming to stay and to sing with us and to play Pictionary and I had the whole night mapped and planned a second after she walked in. My usual shy self would morph into a more outgoing dude, my "one in a six billion" candid personality would do the trick and in twenty years we would be laughing about the early November night when we first met and when we fell for each other. That was before [and even after] seeing her three-carat wedding band. In a time span of less than a second I had my heart rate going sky high and my already high level of unused testosteronegot up went even higher.
Once she left we grilled, I mean we literally grilled my friend's wife with all sort of questions about her and her whereabouts, and I even got upset 'cause WTF weren't we introduced to such a beautiful girl, ah?! Anyway she's married, has one kid, got ten thousand dollars worth of implants and lipo that makes her look like a million dollar babe, speaks Spanish, dances salsa and even though she's married to an American Prince, she secretly craves the company of a red haired Latino. hahaha, not really, but we got her whole biography including some stories of my friend when he saw her in a little tiny bikini by the swimming pool and that had us making all kind of manly comments and the girls their usual girly comments.
Now that I give it a second thought, I think I know why we loss in the game of Pictionary. . . I just couldn't get my mind out of her all night and I'm sure my friends couldn't either. Damn I can't believe we were such an easy pray! Maybe we should invite a big stud before the next game in order to mess up the girls' team. . . But as I said to them once they were done celebrating their victory: "En juego largo, siempre hay desquite" [In a long game, there's always time for revenge]. And last Saturday night was just the beginning. . .
And it was a night when after more than a year away from them, I got to wear my contact lenses again. And if I questioned myself earlier that night of why it had been so long since the last time, by the time I got home and tried to unglue them from my eyes, the answer was obvious.
Pictionary is such a cool game. My friends had it, and after a session of karaoke we end up playing it. The early karaoke session went as it always does: everybody is kind of timid at the beginning, no one really wants to sign or no one knows which song to sing, and then after someone jumps in the water and sings some of those cheesy songs, then everybody's Lucianno Pavaroty emerges and the poor microphone is ripped off from whoever has it. And of course regardless of who had the microphone we end up singing those oldies but goodies from the top of our lungs. . . so loud that the poor next door neighbor came to tell us to please shut the fuck up before it starts raining. At that moment was when we decided to put the karaoke on hold and move to the Pictionary.There was eight of us last night, so we made two teams of four for the game. Actually one team had four, and the other one had 3,5: three girls and one of my friends who was all trashed, therefore the 0,5. The game was in Spanish and it had some very fucking hard words and a lot of fun shit happened. For example, I had to draw the word Torre Latinoamericana [Latin American Tower], which sounds difficult but was quite easy actually. First I draw two lines to let them know that it contained two words; then I draw a building and they found the first word [torre]; and then I draw the Latin American continent and those donkeys in my team weren't able to figure it out, could you believe it? They kept yelling Sur América!, but I draw the continent all the way up to the Río Grande to point out that it was ALL of it, therefore Latinoamérica. And if you put it together with the first word, then the answer was just as easy as stepping on a cockroach. But these Einteins kept yelling torre suramericana and after I told them, through my draw, that they were very fucking close to it. . . time ran out.
Surprisingly enough another harder line came suprisingly easy: Triángulo de las Bermudas. One of my teammates draw a triangle and we all shout "triángulo", and before he could draw anything else another friend yelled Triángulo de las Bermudas out of nowhere! OK, that was an easy one actually. Throughout the night we had words like velocidad [speed], hacer garabatos [scribble], aeropuerto, dolor de espalda [back ache], panal de abejas [honey comb], dormir [to sleep], puerta [door], hervir [to boil], dollar, cinturón de seguridad [seat belt], and so on.
But at the end my team got their asses kicked in a Grand finale that was nose to nose and looked like a Hollywood movie. My team got to the end first but when you roll the dice you have to get to the last spot with the exact number and win the last challenge, and we failed miserable to get those exact fucking numbers. But the other team arrived right to the end in their first try, which has a challenge where both teams have to draw. The final word was Religion and in a very contested and extremely fishy maneuver the other team yelled the answer before we could. That last leg of the game reminded me of how GWB got elected. . . don't want to say out loud that they cheated, but I'm sure they cheated.
I hate to get my ass kicked in those board games. And even more so because that was a struggle between women and men last night: we were four men in my team and the other team was three girls and my fucked up friend. I guess the rational explanation for them beating us is that we were over confident and thought that we had it; or perhaps they were just lucky; or maybe they really cheated. Anyway, for the record they won.
The excitement of the night came while we were in the early stages of the karaoke session. . . It arrived in the form of two round and I would venture to say a perfect pair of 34C boobs followed by a super-duper-cute brunette. My friends have a little boy and he's friends with that beautiful brunette's baby boy [of course she's married], and the kid was staying for the night. She came to check on her boy and stayed for about 5 minutes chatting with my friend's wife right at the entrance, while we tried to pretend that we were singing.
I thought for a moment that she was coming to stay and to sing with us and to play Pictionary and I had the whole night mapped and planned a second after she walked in. My usual shy self would morph into a more outgoing dude, my "one in a six billion" candid personality would do the trick and in twenty years we would be laughing about the early November night when we first met and when we fell for each other. That was before [and even after] seeing her three-carat wedding band. In a time span of less than a second I had my heart rate going sky high and my already high level of unused testosterone
Once she left we grilled, I mean we literally grilled my friend's wife with all sort of questions about her and her whereabouts, and I even got upset 'cause WTF weren't we introduced to such a beautiful girl, ah?! Anyway she's married, has one kid, got ten thousand dollars worth of implants and lipo that makes her look like a million dollar babe, speaks Spanish, dances salsa and even though she's married to an American Prince, she secretly craves the company of a red haired Latino. hahaha, not really, but we got her whole biography including some stories of my friend when he saw her in a little tiny bikini by the swimming pool and that had us making all kind of manly comments and the girls their usual girly comments.
Now that I give it a second thought, I think I know why we loss in the game of Pictionary. . . I just couldn't get my mind out of her all night and I'm sure my friends couldn't either. Damn I can't believe we were such an easy pray! Maybe we should invite a big stud before the next game in order to mess up the girls' team. . . But as I said to them once they were done celebrating their victory: "En juego largo, siempre hay desquite" [In a long game, there's always time for revenge]. And last Saturday night was just the beginning. . .
Jean-Francois was drunk at 11:58 PM
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