Interés Cuánto Valés?

The title of this post is an old saying in Spanish that I don't quite know how to translate to inglés. You use that term usually when someone is treating you well because he/she wants something in return, something that you have, a piece of your ass if you allow me to elaborate [even though in Spanish its use doesn't carry sex connotations].

This good old saying came to my mind this evening after I had a little conversation with my downstairs neighbor. And let me point out again that it doesn't have any sexual connotations and God forbid, because my neighbor is a ninety years old woman. But allow me to elaborate a little bit more about this saying.

I like to either have good relations with the people around me, or no relation whatsoever. Perhaps in this matter I'm too radical: people that comes pouring drama around my little world would be shown the exit door and let loose to spread their misery upon someone else, not me. However, before this happens I usually give them my both cheeks; sometimes I turn and give them the other cheek again, but there's always a limit on the amount of bullshit that I can take.

One early evening a couple months ago, I was listening music in my condo as only music can be listened to when there's despair and restless in your heart: LOUD. My two busted Sony speakers were pushed to the limit as well as the two little JBL speakers attached to my laptop.

Alone came my 120-years old downstairs neighbor knocking on my door, wearing her pajamas and she wasn't using her cane. She asked to me to "pleeeease turn down the music" because it was driving her "crrrazy". First I turned it down, then a bit more, and finally I turned my stereo off because this mad woman was still using the same "crrrazy" and "pleeeease" lines when I asked her if it was "ok now?".

Once I turned off the stereo I pretty much told her to fuck off. I followed her technique and repeated one single line about three times until she mumbled some sort of thanks or good bye; I said "is off now, the music is off, what else you want?!". I didn't slam the door behind her because that's clearly no good manners, but by the way I spoke to her she got the message that I was telling her to go and fuck herself and leave me alone.

She likes to leave her door open while reading or watching TV [which is pretty much from dawn to dusk] and I always wave my hand to her when I'm coming up or down the stairs. But for the last couple months after that little chat she tried to ignore me, even when I ran into her in the parking lot she either looked the other way or gave me a very cold "hello". The last time was more than a month ago when she didn't even reply my greeting.

That situation made me both sad and happy at the same time, some sort of bittersweet feeling. Happy because I wasn't being stop by her once a week with her same old stories and her discussions with the poor Latinos that mow the complex's lawn among other little rants. You see, she has three adult children but they live elsewhere [San Diego, Philly and Denver] and even though she says that she talks to them on daily bases, the truth of the matter is that she is a very lonely person. Which is sad. And I know that by stopping and saying "hi" once in a while, I somehow bright her day in a way that I don't even understand.

But as I said, if you're gona come with drama around me I don't care if you're an old lonely lady or a Barbie Doll, I'll give you the same medicine: go fuck yourself.

So I stooped waving hello to her and even one day that I saw her struggling with her grocery bags in one hand and her cane in the other, I just kept walking don't even bothering to drop a fart on my way to the mail box. I even thought that it would've been a good time to "accidentally" kick her cane to see if is true that she really needs it [she climbed the stairs without it when she asked me to turn the music down].

Today she finally stop me on my way to my condo and asked me to come inside for a while. I was in a rush because I had to go out again so I declined when she offered me a chair [beside I'll end up with cat hair all over me]. She told me that she's going to California to visit his son and that she's had problems finding someone to baby sit her cat. She'd contacted a couple of people but didn't like I don't know what about one of them and another thing about the other person, just silly stuff. She also asked me what my plans were during those days and I told her that I would be around, "perhaps I'll go snow skiing", but that definitely I'd be in CLT.

There was a moment of silence when I thought she was gona go for the kill and asked me to baby sit her cat, but I stood there , locking eyes with her and not even moving an eye brow and she hesitated for two seconds too long. Enough for me to wish her "good luck" with the cat situation and to tell her that I had to go. She mention something about the music and our chat but I brushed it off.

I'm almost sure she's gona try again to get me to look after her fat cat, but now that I know the days she'd be leaving. . . I'd be leaving too. Oops.

Once I left her condo, closed the door behind me and started climbing the stairs, the good old saying on the title of this post came to my mind immediately: Interés Cuánto Valés? She wants something from me, and under normal circumstances and after our chat about the loud music, I'd be the last person on her list of people to ask a favor from. But as her list is so small, and I believe I am pretty much at the top and at the bottom of it, she had to eat her bad mood and try to make peace with me in order to ask me to take care of her cat.

There you go, the Spanish lesson of the day hahaha.


PS. I've just read this post and. . . WHEN, I mean seriously, at what point in my life did I stop talking about, thinking, and chasing beautiful girls in order to talk about my 300-year old downstairs neighbor, ah?!