Vod-quila Diving (3)
Sandra, that girl who once upon a time was my best friend ever, is now at the top of the list of people that I plainly hate. And has also the number one spot in my list of best girl friends, because I just love her like no one else. There's a very thin line between love and hate and we've crossed it over several times in the last couple days.
After that lame and stupid e-mail I found in my inbox, I sent her a handful of messages asking her that WTF was going on in her life and she answered me with more questions in one sentence e-mails.
Yesterday we end up talking on the phone. Five times. When I first called her she said that she couldn't talk because she was on her way to a "very important meeting". Well, I asked her "Is that fucking meeting more important than MY phone call?!". I should've known better because I taught her what to answer when faced with that very same question: "Is not, but is urgent." Later that day when she called me, guess what? I was in the middle of an extremely important meeting. "Don't tell me that that meeting is more important than us?! -she said. "This meeting" -I reply to her, "is extremely important and I'm in the middle of it! Bye." Take note of this new variation to your standard answers, bitch!
In the evening once I got home, I finally called her and when she picked up the receiver I went in a rant spree about her and our friendship and her stupid e-mail and how disappointed I was of her and what I thought was our friendship, which I really don't know if it ever really existed and are you really gona get married and why am I the last person on this fucking planet to know about it and without losing thrust I trashed her one more time and our so called "friendship". She hung up on me.
So is that how everything is going to end? Like if we were a couple of eight-year old kids that cover their ears and start yelling so that they cannot hear something they don't want to? Or we just close our eyes and pretend there's no one around? I thought we were grown ups.
I called her back again and asked her with very sweet words what was going on with her, why she hung up on me and if she wanted to talk to me after all or not. "Yeah, of course I want to talk to you Jean-Francois, but what happen is that. . ."
I hung up on her.
I had one more beer because I was fuming, and I didn't pick up her, er, thirteen or so phone calls? I'm a very calm dude on regular bases, and I either have good relations with people around me, drama-free, or I just don't waste my time and energy with people that can cause an storm in a glass of water. My relationships with friends and the few girlfriends I've had, have always been pleasant; this also includes my relationship with Sandra, not in vein I upgrade her to the very top of my list of love and friendship. And that crazy, once-upon-a-time-blonde, is still up there today. But just for the record I hate her.
I finally called her back and we started talking and placing blames and pointing fingers and questioning each other's loyalty and number of e-mails written and "how long did it take you to reply my e-mail, ah?", and why you haven't called in so many months, and "I didn't reply your e-mail because that was a joke forwarded to 67 people!", and we talked about friendship from a theoretical and philosophical point of view trying to make the other one feel like crap, and things heat up one more time and I hung up on her again (but placed the blame on "this cheap calling card that I got") and after we trashed, cursed and told each other how bad a friend the other was and after I even asked her if she was "smoking weed again" because she was "really losing it", we end up in a non-stop rant of I love you's, I miss you's and some more sweet cursing as only best friends can. Again, and this is only for purposes of the record, I hate her!
She is getting married indeed, and no, she's not pregnant.
And I hate to confess this, but she was able to push every single one of my buttons right where it hurts the most to me: friendship, loyalty, love and the alike. And she was an inch close to fuck up the entire control panel that holds those buttons: me!
Her explanation for not telling me, her very lame explanation, is that I haven't answered a handful of mails that she'd sent me in the last few months. I haven't answered them because technically those weren't e-mails, those where just one line messages asking me if I was alive, or asking if I was still using the same e-mail account I've been using for the last ten years, or (and this is no joke) if I was in Germany where my last girlfriend is at right now (?!). And she didn't wanted to write me an e-mail telling me about her marriage, she wanted to call me and tell me about it with all the possible details of it all. She said she'd lost my phone number (liar) and she was waiting for my reply to her one-line messages to tell me that she had something very important to say so that we could talk on the phone -I can't believe she's so stupid. She got together with other friends that I've also been neglecting for the last months and they all plot the message with the wedding invitation (which was real) to see if I would surface back to life.
I did surface but more in the form of a hungry shark, than like the cool guy that I usually am. Once again, and I say this only because I want to set the record straight: I hate her.
She's indeed getting married with some guy, and even though he never bought a lottery ticket in his life, he end up winning over one of the best girls ever to walk on this planet.
Aw my friends I'm so happy for her but at the same time so sad in knowing that she's not just changing her marital status, but that things between us are changing. We're best friends, but can't fully grasp the fact that my best girl friend is a married woman. I never rationally thought or made plans for us to be together again, but in the back of my mind, where all those crazy fantasies of flying to the International Space Station, or winning the lottery, or owning Playboy Magazine and all its assets one day and so on, there was that little tiny ray of light on us being together. A little candle burning deep inside my heart where we both could one day hold hands and walk towards the sunset, living and loving each other like we once did, happily ever after in a huge castle.
A castle where she'd have the largest room to reflect the size of her heart and our friendship, and I'd curl up together, in the master bedroom, with all those large breasted Playboy Playmates every-single-night - ha!
After that lame and stupid e-mail I found in my inbox, I sent her a handful of messages asking her that WTF was going on in her life and she answered me with more questions in one sentence e-mails.
Yesterday we end up talking on the phone. Five times. When I first called her she said that she couldn't talk because she was on her way to a "very important meeting". Well, I asked her "Is that fucking meeting more important than MY phone call?!". I should've known better because I taught her what to answer when faced with that very same question: "Is not, but is urgent." Later that day when she called me, guess what? I was in the middle of an extremely important meeting. "Don't tell me that that meeting is more important than us?! -she said. "This meeting" -I reply to her, "is extremely important and I'm in the middle of it! Bye." Take note of this new variation to your standard answers, bitch!
In the evening once I got home, I finally called her and when she picked up the receiver I went in a rant spree about her and our friendship and her stupid e-mail and how disappointed I was of her and what I thought was our friendship, which I really don't know if it ever really existed and are you really gona get married and why am I the last person on this fucking planet to know about it and without losing thrust I trashed her one more time and our so called "friendship". She hung up on me.
So is that how everything is going to end? Like if we were a couple of eight-year old kids that cover their ears and start yelling so that they cannot hear something they don't want to? Or we just close our eyes and pretend there's no one around? I thought we were grown ups.
I called her back again and asked her with very sweet words what was going on with her, why she hung up on me and if she wanted to talk to me after all or not. "Yeah, of course I want to talk to you Jean-Francois, but what happen is that. . ."
I hung up on her.
I had one more beer because I was fuming, and I didn't pick up her, er, thirteen or so phone calls? I'm a very calm dude on regular bases, and I either have good relations with people around me, drama-free, or I just don't waste my time and energy with people that can cause an storm in a glass of water. My relationships with friends and the few girlfriends I've had, have always been pleasant; this also includes my relationship with Sandra, not in vein I upgrade her to the very top of my list of love and friendship. And that crazy, once-upon-a-time-blonde, is still up there today. But just for the record I hate her.
I finally called her back and we started talking and placing blames and pointing fingers and questioning each other's loyalty and number of e-mails written and "how long did it take you to reply my e-mail, ah?", and why you haven't called in so many months, and "I didn't reply your e-mail because that was a joke forwarded to 67 people!", and we talked about friendship from a theoretical and philosophical point of view trying to make the other one feel like crap, and things heat up one more time and I hung up on her again (but placed the blame on "this cheap calling card that I got") and after we trashed, cursed and told each other how bad a friend the other was and after I even asked her if she was "smoking weed again" because she was "really losing it", we end up in a non-stop rant of I love you's, I miss you's and some more sweet cursing as only best friends can. Again, and this is only for purposes of the record, I hate her!
She is getting married indeed, and no, she's not pregnant.
And I hate to confess this, but she was able to push every single one of my buttons right where it hurts the most to me: friendship, loyalty, love and the alike. And she was an inch close to fuck up the entire control panel that holds those buttons: me!
Her explanation for not telling me, her very lame explanation, is that I haven't answered a handful of mails that she'd sent me in the last few months. I haven't answered them because technically those weren't e-mails, those where just one line messages asking me if I was alive, or asking if I was still using the same e-mail account I've been using for the last ten years, or (and this is no joke) if I was in Germany where my last girlfriend is at right now (?!). And she didn't wanted to write me an e-mail telling me about her marriage, she wanted to call me and tell me about it with all the possible details of it all. She said she'd lost my phone number (liar) and she was waiting for my reply to her one-line messages to tell me that she had something very important to say so that we could talk on the phone -I can't believe she's so stupid. She got together with other friends that I've also been neglecting for the last months and they all plot the message with the wedding invitation (which was real) to see if I would surface back to life.
I did surface but more in the form of a hungry shark, than like the cool guy that I usually am. Once again, and I say this only because I want to set the record straight: I hate her.
She's indeed getting married with some guy, and even though he never bought a lottery ticket in his life, he end up winning over one of the best girls ever to walk on this planet.
Aw my friends I'm so happy for her but at the same time so sad in knowing that she's not just changing her marital status, but that things between us are changing. We're best friends, but can't fully grasp the fact that my best girl friend is a married woman. I never rationally thought or made plans for us to be together again, but in the back of my mind, where all those crazy fantasies of flying to the International Space Station, or winning the lottery, or owning Playboy Magazine and all its assets one day and so on, there was that little tiny ray of light on us being together. A little candle burning deep inside my heart where we both could one day hold hands and walk towards the sunset, living and loving each other like we once did, happily ever after in a huge castle.
A castle where she'd have the largest room to reflect the size of her heart and our friendship, and I'd curl up together, in the master bedroom, with all those large breasted Playboy Playmates every-single-night - ha!
Jean-Francois was drunk at 10:04 AM
1 Comments:
Thanks Doc.
Inspiration moves in misterious ways... and a simple e-mail was enough to inspire three posts, like a dozen e-mails and quite a few phone calls (including the aforementioned hang-ups).
Cheers!
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