The Rainmaker

If I was a girl I would be a lesbian of course. There's nothing more beautiful on the face of this or any other planet than a girl. Their soft skin, warm touch, trimmed eye brows and their painted finger nails and small hands. Girls always take care of themselves, drink skim milk and eat plenty of salads; they spend lots of quality time looking good for themselves and their sense of fashion is more a gene than a learnt ability.

We men are fucking chimpanzees compared to them.

If I was a girl I could never get pass a simple handshake with a man. Hell, no. And if a man tries to stab me, he better uses it a samurai sword right in my heart than his love tool.

But if one day let's say I wake up in the body of a girl, a red haired girl, and let's say that I spend three hours in front of the mirror getting ready to go out, and let's say that I get drunk as hell, all wasted and trashed and shit, I'd certainly volunteer myself to have John Grisham's baby!