On J-F's Family News

Lots of news from South America these days my friends. My older sister is getting married, believe it or not. And she's getting married to a "brave man" as I told my mom on the phone. My older sister is a bitch and as horrible as it sounds to refer to a sibling that way, the truth of the matter is that she's a bitch in the whole sense of the word. Is not a coincidence that it took her sooooooo many years to find a guy stupid brave enough to proposed her.

In other news my super-cool younger sister got silicon implants. That silly lil' sis of mine. She really didn't need implants, I thought that she had enough and that she looked pretty good, but girls always want a couple pounds less or a little bit more here or there so I could understand her. I really like my young sister and I love her as much as I love her two labs, Tomas and Flab, who are perhaps the greatest dogs in this planet.

Right is my cute little sister; middle is my beautiful and awesome cousin who lives in NYC and left cool J-F.

My mom told me few weeks back that my lil'sis was getting her tonsil removed because she was getting like a cold a week or so. When I called her to ask about the surgery she said that it went fine and then she asked me if I didn't know about "the rest". I was like WTF? but immediately knew that she had done something to her cute figure. According to her she was A and now is B, but I think she was small B before and now she's B -if that somehow makes sense. I asked her for photos and she said that whenever the swallowing passes she'll send me one, I replied "the swallowing is not gona go away, that's what the implants are for, you silly!". She laughed but confessed that she also had the love handles removed, the so-called lipo. But once again, she was very cute before and really didn't need any of that, but well, girls are girls.

The wedding will be early next year so by that time I'll be back in South America, perhaps for good, and I'll have the honor to meet the new member of the family. I really hope, for my sister and specially for the mental health of my parents, lil'sis and the dogs that the groom doesn't get cold feet and ends up changing his mind. As a funny note I have to point out that he already has TWO marriages behind him, so maybe as the good old saying goes "la tercera es la vencida" and this one is 4-eva!

The only one thing that worries me is that now that my sister will be classified as a married person, the pressure is on me. Well, the Prrrrresure if you know what I mean. Is not that the biological clock is ticking its last seconds on my back, hell no my friends, Jean-Francois still feels as young and restless as back in the days and he still has a lot of experiences to live before dropping to his knees and committing Harakiri proposing to a nice girl to share the rest of her life with this red haired boy. But every time my parents asked me about my love life and when is it that I am finally going to settle down, my answer is always the same: I'm waiting for my older sister to tie the knot. But now that she's getting married, I guess I should come up with another answer. . . Perhaps I could deflect it to my cute little sister and her EIGHT YEAR relationship with her boyfriend -which my parents of course refer to him as their "other son", because the one who lives in the US was taken out of the family heir long time ago.

I told you, lot of shit going on down there and certainly nothing new over here in the Bible Belt.