The Last One
Seriously Dude, let this be the last post on cute Stephanie, ok? I know that you've just received a brand new e-mail from her telling you a lot of stuff and making you laugh and a happy man; but seriously, I mean, the time to put a lit on this thing has arrived. Have you noticed, for instance, that she left twenty five days ago? That is almost a month, a whole month! Seems like yesterday- I bet you'll say, but Dude, almost a month in this ping-pong game of e-mails and Trasn-Atlantic phone calls is a bit more than enough.
What you need is to go out, go and see the light, the lights of the city at night, Bright Lights Big City! Go out, call your friends, hit downtown with plenty of cash in your pockets and the credit card ready in your wallet if needed. Go and drink, start with an ice cold beer just to warm up engines and then move to your all-time favorite RedBull Vodka, and stick with it for Christ's sake! You should not mix and match when it comes to alcohol because you know too well the consequences. And while at it, do not think about calling or blogging about Steffi, the time to move on has arrived.
Go to your territory, the places that you know like the palm of your hand, the environment where you can shine the most: Go salsa dancing! Go! Go! Go! Yeah, there you turn into a hurricane of steps, turns, flirts, cheers and so on. Go ahead and approach the blonde hair girls first and invite them to go and dance. If it doesn't work move to the red hairs and if there's no luck there you can always move on to the brunettes. If still no luck in that department go ahead and approach those ladies with gray hair, I'm sure they'll be happy to see such anot really young gentleman trying to hit on them and in response they'll treat you right. If perhaps they are into something else you know you can always approach the big momas. Go to the corner where they usually hang out and talk to them, invite them a drink, go and buy a RedBull Vodka for them without asking. If they say that they don't like it, well, you do like it so go ahead and drink it and still they'll think that you were such a gentleman. And please go and get laid for crying out loud! Get crazy! You know that the sun will always come up from the east the next morning and besides you've been jogging a lot lately, so if you have to run from someone the next morning, at least she'll have a hard time getting her hands on you.
Now, if even the big momas somehow don't want such a good boy like you but a sleazy mother fucker, well, what can you do? Go home and sleep like an angel. I'd say leave all the porn that you have stored in your two laptops as a last resort, just remember what happen that last time when you were feeling the same way you're today. You remember? Yeah, you got too close to the laptop screen and well, shit man, all that thing on the screen and the keyboard wasn't really a good picture, was it? You were lucky back then that it somehow didn't hit a wire, because that would've been fucking embarrassing. Picture this: You with your laptop at the front desk of BestBuy or CompUSA or whatever saying that you spilled something on the keyboard. Was it water, or perhaps coffee Sr? -they'll ask. And I'd love to see your red haired face trying to come up with an answer of what the hell was it that you "spilled", you pervert. (But as a matter of fact I'll be the one there, so let's just try not to get in those kind of troubles at least in the near future).
So go out and pArTy! ! ! like in the good old days. Jogging helps calming you down and perhaps those glasses of Merlot let you fall sleep quicker, but the truth of the matter is that you just need a gurl by yournot very handsome side.
Wrapping up I'd say that the first step in this recovery is to stop blogging about Stephanie. No more posts about her or her e-mails or the Trans-Atlantic phone calls or her stories or all that crap that you come up with in this blog. Let me just make it crystal clear for you: No more posts about Steffi. Period.
Failure to comply with this simple rule could result in punishment according to local and federal regulations on the subject matter. If the offender (in this case you, cool Jean-Fran) is caught red handed and in material breach of this very simple rule, I can assure you that the punishment could go as far as taking this blog away from you. . . 4-evaaa!
The arrow is in the bowstring, and there's no turning back. Good luck dude and remember: no more posts oncute Stephanie.
What you need is to go out, go and see the light, the lights of the city at night, Bright Lights Big City! Go out, call your friends, hit downtown with plenty of cash in your pockets and the credit card ready in your wallet if needed. Go and drink, start with an ice cold beer just to warm up engines and then move to your all-time favorite RedBull Vodka, and stick with it for Christ's sake! You should not mix and match when it comes to alcohol because you know too well the consequences. And while at it, do not think about calling or blogging about Steffi, the time to move on has arrived.Go to your territory, the places that you know like the palm of your hand, the environment where you can shine the most: Go salsa dancing! Go! Go! Go! Yeah, there you turn into a hurricane of steps, turns, flirts, cheers and so on. Go ahead and approach the blonde hair girls first and invite them to go and dance. If it doesn't work move to the red hairs and if there's no luck there you can always move on to the brunettes. If still no luck in that department go ahead and approach those ladies with gray hair, I'm sure they'll be happy to see such a
Now, if even the big momas somehow don't want such a good boy like you but a sleazy mother fucker, well, what can you do? Go home and sleep like an angel. I'd say leave all the porn that you have stored in your two laptops as a last resort, just remember what happen that last time when you were feeling the same way you're today. You remember? Yeah, you got too close to the laptop screen and well, shit man, all that thing on the screen and the keyboard wasn't really a good picture, was it? You were lucky back then that it somehow didn't hit a wire, because that would've been fucking embarrassing. Picture this: You with your laptop at the front desk of BestBuy or CompUSA or whatever saying that you spilled something on the keyboard. Was it water, or perhaps coffee Sr? -they'll ask. And I'd love to see your red haired face trying to come up with an answer of what the hell was it that you "spilled", you pervert. (But as a matter of fact I'll be the one there, so let's just try not to get in those kind of troubles at least in the near future).
So go out and pArTy! ! ! like in the good old days. Jogging helps calming you down and perhaps those glasses of Merlot let you fall sleep quicker, but the truth of the matter is that you just need a gurl by your
Wrapping up I'd say that the first step in this recovery is to stop blogging about Stephanie. No more posts about her or her e-mails or the Trans-Atlantic phone calls or her stories or all that crap that you come up with in this blog. Let me just make it crystal clear for you: No more posts about Steffi. Period.
Failure to comply with this simple rule could result in punishment according to local and federal regulations on the subject matter. If the offender (in this case you, cool Jean-Fran) is caught red handed and in material breach of this very simple rule, I can assure you that the punishment could go as far as taking this blog away from you. . . 4-evaaa!
The arrow is in the bowstring, and there's no turning back. Good luck dude and remember: no more posts on
Jean-Francois was drunk at 10:01 AM
2 Comments:
HA HA HA you had me laughing out loud (you are indeed quite lucky your computer didn't break.) but do people actually salsa dance in NC?
Very lucky... can't imagine explaining the whole "spilled" thing.
There's a lot of LAtinos in NC and a handful of clubs that play salsa, merengue, bachata and all that. Maybe not the best places around town but what else can you do?
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