Put Up With

During a long period of my life, I used to get involved and to call "friends" people who were far from that. Maybe being the middle child, never good enough in my parent's daily judgments, pushed me to find love and acceptance outside my nuclear family. And in doing so I had to put up with a lot of bullshit during a long period of time.

As time goes by and we are able to look back at our life, we realize how some relationships asked for a lot from us giving nothing; and on the other side of the coin, how some people gave a lot to us.

Today, being a Stranger in Strange Land here in America, my phone book doesn't have many entries, and the few that I have I know that are far from what I'm looking for. Loneliness is a fucking hard thing to cope with in everyday life, but I prefer it to have to put up with bullshit on regular basis.

Someone that I know and that I don't like, just called me today and I'm going to see her today. Thirty seconds into our phone conversation, I was ready to hang up, but the thing is that I'm going to see her. In other words, she's going to see me at my job; therefore there's no escape for me.

It's a pitty that I can't be rude with people and just tell them to fuck off; but at some point I'll have to make that point clear. With her, it will be today.