Cravings

I do have cravings; and God knows that I need to get rid of this load soon, hell yeah, the sooner the better. And I just can't take things in my own hands if you know what I'm saying; I need to get rid of this in a place other than the restroom. To put it straight: I need a girl for Christ's sake!

This cravings are eating me alive. I've been in a fucking bad mode for the last several days -or I should say weeks or perhaps months, even though I'm ashamed to say it out loud. But if I don't say it here, where else?!

The fucking thing is that I don't see any major change in my life in that direction. In the horizon I only see bills and nothing else. Shit!, to be honest I don't really know if I would ever get some of that shit again. I'm desperate, I'm a desperate man, and desperate men don't come to talk, they come to kill as the drug dealer told Sean in Nip Tuck.

I know that it is never so dark like right before dawn; but that shit has been getting darker and darker and the worst thing is that I believe it can still get fucking darker. God forbid my friends, God forbid.

My friends: tonight, right before you go to bed, take some time and please pray for Jean-Francois, and among other things ask the big boss to please send him a fine young lady. That all I want, that's all I ask for.