The Beginning / Miss Her (S)
The most logic thing would be to start this blogger by saying who I am, what I do and all that useless information. But I will start by saying that I miss her. I meet her back in 1999 when I came back from a trip to Asia and we took some classes together. I had seen her before and I knew who she was: a blonde hair girl, thin, not the most spectacular girl on this planet but also not the worst looking. She was a couple of semester behind me and she also had a boyfriend. Never meet her and never spoke to her. At that time I was busy with my friends and my own relationships and parties, and while in college one thing that there was plentiful of was girls. Once I meet her we became good friends, however my intentions were more than just a "beautiful friendship". There's an economic principle called "The Law of unintended Consequences" and we end up being best friends in our own way.
To make a long story short she came to visit me earlier this year for almost three weeks. I, her best friend. She, my best friend. Three weekends and two whole weeks -plus a couple of days together. We slept in the same bed. Friends, that's what we were -what we are. At the end of the second week and with just a weekend and few days before her departure, we decided to have some beers, some tequila shots with loud music; a little party singing and dancing like the good old times. We started the night fighting over a piece of lemon, and end up in the couch kissing each other and... Well, kissing, touching, groaning, discovering each other's. It was Magic, that's what best describes our encounter.
Haven't you felt that you had wanted something so bad, that when you finally got it, somehow, you had wanted it so much and for so long that is not really what you thought it was going to be? Let me make one thing clear: she kisses like heaven and her lips, soft skin, breasts, back, her softness, her passion mixed with some innocence is more than I was expecting. But, when I had her, didn't feel those butterflies fluttering in my stomach -and in my hands, fingers, legs, toes, in my head, my chest, back, shoulders as they did before.
Why? I could come up with a thousand reasons, but are reasons any important? Just came to my mind what Mark Renton the main character in Trainspotting said: "Reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin". I've not got heroin or anything like that, but what are reasons for? To make a rational decision maybe? Or to justified what is going on? Hey, when the heart speaks, there are no reasons for it.
Nevertheless I miss her. Miss her company, her kisses and hugs. Miss myself taking care of her and making her feel special. Miss being there for her and miss getting to know her. Not by words "what is your favorite color?, what is your favorite movie? Miss trying to understand her: her fears and plans; her likes and dislikes; miss trying to figure out what she wants and what she doesn't want by just looking at her, by feeling her touch. Somedays I wake up and feel like if she had just left, somedays it seems that we haven't seen each other for ages, so distant.
There is an old saying that goes: "if you are in a hole, stop digging". I feel that I am in a hole when it comes to her, and I know that is just a matter of time, a matter of letting time and distance do their work to fill this emptiness with something and someone else. I know, as a matter of fact that that day will come, but somehow I want to stretch it out a bit longer to remember those times together. I want to stay in the hole for a little while before moving on.
What I really wanted to say today is that I'm missing her, so simple yet so complicated.
To make a long story short she came to visit me earlier this year for almost three weeks. I, her best friend. She, my best friend. Three weekends and two whole weeks -plus a couple of days together. We slept in the same bed. Friends, that's what we were -what we are. At the end of the second week and with just a weekend and few days before her departure, we decided to have some beers, some tequila shots with loud music; a little party singing and dancing like the good old times. We started the night fighting over a piece of lemon, and end up in the couch kissing each other and... Well, kissing, touching, groaning, discovering each other's. It was Magic, that's what best describes our encounter.
Haven't you felt that you had wanted something so bad, that when you finally got it, somehow, you had wanted it so much and for so long that is not really what you thought it was going to be? Let me make one thing clear: she kisses like heaven and her lips, soft skin, breasts, back, her softness, her passion mixed with some innocence is more than I was expecting. But, when I had her, didn't feel those butterflies fluttering in my stomach -and in my hands, fingers, legs, toes, in my head, my chest, back, shoulders as they did before.
Why? I could come up with a thousand reasons, but are reasons any important? Just came to my mind what Mark Renton the main character in Trainspotting said: "Reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin". I've not got heroin or anything like that, but what are reasons for? To make a rational decision maybe? Or to justified what is going on? Hey, when the heart speaks, there are no reasons for it.
Nevertheless I miss her. Miss her company, her kisses and hugs. Miss myself taking care of her and making her feel special. Miss being there for her and miss getting to know her. Not by words "what is your favorite color?, what is your favorite movie? Miss trying to understand her: her fears and plans; her likes and dislikes; miss trying to figure out what she wants and what she doesn't want by just looking at her, by feeling her touch. Somedays I wake up and feel like if she had just left, somedays it seems that we haven't seen each other for ages, so distant.
There is an old saying that goes: "if you are in a hole, stop digging". I feel that I am in a hole when it comes to her, and I know that is just a matter of time, a matter of letting time and distance do their work to fill this emptiness with something and someone else. I know, as a matter of fact that that day will come, but somehow I want to stretch it out a bit longer to remember those times together. I want to stay in the hole for a little while before moving on.
What I really wanted to say today is that I'm missing her, so simple yet so complicated.
Jean-Francois was drunk at 11:54 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home